January 2018 will, hopefully, go down on the record as my worst hit-rate for actually completing Comic Art Masterclasses. So far 25% of the classes I've set out to deliver have ended up not happening.
First of all, on a one day trip to Ponteland near Newcastle, I started the day teaching pupils who'd been minibussed in from a nearby school, only to have them leave after 30 minutes because it was snowing up the Kielder valley, whence they came, for fear they might not make it back later. So, out of that day's two classes, only one went the distance.
Then on my two day visit to Hannover, the first morning went fine, only for the first afternoon class to be stopped, again after half an hour, as a storm was lashing Germany and the school had to close down. After two days I was looking at a 50% failure-to-finish-a-class rate. Luckily things improved the next day when, for the first time this year, I completed a full day of two classes. Hooray.
Next stop Ireland. And the Irish trip was to be quite the marathon. Four schools in five days. It was nearly five days, but sadly we failed to find a school that worked a full day on Wednesday (many schools take a half day) and could take my classes. But 4 days of schools, spread over a week, and all in Dublin, was a grand bit of management, and I have the assembled librarians of the JCSP libraries of Dublin to thank for the organisation.
The only spanner in the works was Garda Vetting. Not having been to Ireland since 2016, I've been away while Irish law caught up with the UK and Scotland and started asking schools to supply police criminal clearance for all teaching staff. I got my first CRB check (now called a DBS certificate) way back in 2003 and, though it's a convoluted rigmarole for self-employed freelancers to get in the first place, is simple enough when you've found out how. And now it updates itself every year for a small fee, rather than me having to re-register from scratch every three years, which was the previous set up. I got my first Scottish PVG certificate in 2015, which seemed to be an awful lot easier to arrange.
Garda Vetting, as it's called in Ireland, works the same way in as much as it's a nightmare to try and work out how the hell you're supposed to get it if you're a freelancer. Even less explanation is given as to what a visitor from overseas is required to have. Helpfully the Principal of one of the four schools I was to visit sent me the paperwork to fill out, and then forwarded it to the Garda for me. But time was running out and it looked like the Garda wouldn't get it processed in time for my visit this week.
So I approached the Garda Vetting Bureau directly, and got a response from a very helpful Maurice Nolan at the Bureau who told me, "There would... be no obligation on a school to require vetting of a guest speaker, musician, etc. who is giving a talk or demonstration at a school on a once-off or very irregular basis." Hooray! Problem solved.
For three quarters of my schools, leastways. Three of my schools, on reading the authoritative decision from the official at the Vetting Bureau, agreed with the words of, let's face it, The Law, and gave my visits the go ahead. At time of writing I've just completed a grand day at St Aidans in Tallaght, and tomorrow I'll be returning to New Cross College in Finglas. Then on Friday I'll be making my debut appearance at Killinarden school in Whitestown.
One school (who shall remain nameless) felt differently. Their Principal emailed me today to say that the Garda Vetting Bureau's (whose job it is to decide who needs vetted by the Garda Vetting Bureau) "opinion differs greatly from the advice given by our management advisory body" . He goes on to suggest that "the National Vetting Bureau needs to consult with schools' advisory bodies to ensure that there is complete clarity". So in his opinion (and in this instance it is an opinion, rather than, you know, the actual law), the police should consult the school on what the law is.
While we leave them to argue that one out, he concludes "I'm afraid that we cannot proceed with Thursday's workshop". So I have an unpaid day in a hotel in Dublin, twiddling my thumbs (okay, getting on with work, of which I have plenty to do), and my hit-rate for completing classes as planned remains 75%. (The four schools were, of course, going to share the cost of my flights, car, and hotel, as a result of which I'm now commensurately out of pocket on all that*)
*UPDATE: On Wednesday, the marvellous Sarah Purcell, librarian at Margaret Aylward College, intervened and lined me up with a half day of classes on Thursday at Beneavin College in Finglas. So, hooray, I wasn't left thumb-twiddling and did a marvellous if unexpected class with the pupils there. All's well that ends well.
Kev F Sutherland, as well as writing and drawing for The Beano, Marvel, Doctor Who et al, runs Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries and art centres - email for details, and follow him on Facebook and Twitter. View the promo video here.
Comic Art Masterclasses open to the public:
Feb 12 - Zion Bristol
Feb 13 - Salisbury Arts
Feb 14 - Baldocks Arts & Heritage Centre, Herts
Feb 15 - Angles Theatre, Wisbech
Feb 16 - Bexleyheath & Erith Libraries
March 17 - Prema Arts, Uley, Gloucs
Feb 12 - Zion Bristol
Feb 13 - Salisbury Arts
Feb 14 - Baldocks Arts & Heritage Centre, Herts
Feb 15 - Angles Theatre, Wisbech
Feb 16 - Bexleyheath & Erith Libraries
March 17 - Prema Arts, Uley, Gloucs
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