Moto Moto & Jeremy Kyle - comics by kids

A couple of days in Northumberland gave us some of the best comic titles of the year so far. These two, from Bellingham Middle School, being particular favourites.

These two, from Seaton Sluice and Whytrig Middle Schools respectively, were also fun, though slightly disappointing in that they were the kids repeating popular memes rather than being actually original. Still, it's good to be able to Google what they want you to draw, rather than trying to think of something myself that, ultimately, isn't so impressive.

These two from North Bradley in Wiltshire were just the sort of cover I'm disappointed by. Fine suggestions from the kids, turned into lacklustre scribbles by me. You can't come up with a classic every time.

This comic, produced with NQTs (Newly Qualified Teachers) at Colmore school, was an inspiring idea which I somehow turned into a really naff cover. Which I then coloured even nafferlier. Which, of it isn't a word, should be.

The celebrities these 7 groups chose to star in my demonstration strip were Little T (a rapper, m'lud), Kim Jong Un, Mo Salah, KSI (a boxer, apparently), Beyonce, Kevin Du Bruyne (plays for Man City, my ignorance of popular culture references knew no bounds this week), and Donald Trump.

Kev F Sutherland, as well as writing and drawing for The Beano, Marvel, Doctor Who et al, runs Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries & art centres. email for details. Facebook, Twitter. Promo video here. 

Lost Sheet Music & resales - more eBay fun

For the first time since I started this eBaying lark, I’ve lost some items, and their whereabouts are a mystery.

Five bits of sheet music, that came from Kibworth, have been going round and round the eBay carousel for a few weeks and finally sold last week. They included Cliff Richard’s Living Doll and three bits of Black & White Minstrels music. But when I came to put them in their envelopes I could not find them. 

They weren’t in any of the boxes in the house, so I have now made two visits to the storage unit, taking the tops off boxes that have been opened and resealed countless times now, and the little buggers won’t show up. Either I’ve tucked them away in a box that I’ve now buried deep or, worst case scenario and frankly I can’t imagine this has happened, they’ve been sent to someone else who didn’t pay for them. Being sheet music they are the thinnest of paper items, making them the easiest to overlook and the hardest to spot. Five punters have been refunded.

Those distractions aside, the last few weeks’ sales have also included the comics that got bought and returned en masse by one rather odd buyer. (You’ll remember I thought he was scamming me, turned out he was just eccentric). I think he realised he’d overpaid for them because, as you’ll see below, most went for less than he paid for them first time round.

The clearout continues, latest thing to be uploaded is a mountain of Look-In comics, a couple of which got snapped up on the first day as you can see.

SOLD since March 10

(Excluding sheet music that got lost)

3 x Lion Holiday Specials. £17.00

Wicked 1 + 9 £11.05

Happy Warrior. £10.00

10 x Dr Who 11-20.  £8.50

10 x Look-In 1976. £8.00

10 x Dr Who. 2 - 10 £7.50

10 x Dr Who  21-30. £6.00

8 x Look-In 1977 £6.00

8 x Rampage (resale, was £14). £6.00

8 x Rampage inc 1 (resale, was £9). £5.50

10 x Dr Who  31-40. £5.50

12 comics inc Action 21. £5.50

10 x Dr Who 1990-96. £4.25

3 x Cap Britain 29-31 (resale, was £2.50). £4.20

10 x Dr Who  94-125 £2.95

10 x Dr Who  75-93. £2.90

Cap Britain 2 (resale, was £2.50). £2.70

10 x Dr Who 1987-89. £2.60

9 x Dr Who  55-72. £2.50

10 x Dr Who inc 150. £2.50

5 x Dr Who specials. £2.50

Pebbles BamBam + 4. £2.50

Beezer 68 + 8. £2.50

3 x Valiant, Billlys Boots  £2.50

3 x Jackie. £2.50

Mystery In Space x 2  £2.50

2 x Radio Times Xmas. £2.50

All Star Western (resale, was £3). £2.50

3 x Cap Britain 32-35 (resale, was £2.50). £2.50

3 x Cap Britain 36-39 (resale, was £5.50) £2.50 

Total March 10 - 27 = £136.15

Yes, but think of all the shelf space I’ve made. Oh shut up.

My eBay items for sale are all here - happy bidding!

SCOTTISH FALSETTO SOCK PUPPET THEATRE: ROLL UP!

July 31 - Aug 25 - GILDED BALLOON Patter Hoose Edfringe - On Sale Now

Socks Roll Up at Glasgow Comedy Festival - 3 great shows

Remembering last year’s previews of Superheroes, when I suffered with a tough crowd on the second night, this year the Socks geared themselves up for three nights in a row, giving the first full tryouts to the new show Roll Up! I’m happy to report they went wonderfully.

In February we did a partial tryout of some new material, but mostly gave the crowd the best of the Superheroes show, so these were the first attempts to do an hour of Roll Up. Two nights at Dram, and a night at the Britannia Panopticon.

Night one, Wednesday at Dram, went well, considering the shows gags were all badly clustered together and we finished after 45 minutes, so rounded the show off with a revisit of Earth Song and Don’t Let’s Be Beastly.

I then spent Thursday daytime rewriting the script, introducing new material, adding new music, totally revamping the show. The structure for Thursday night at Dram was the one that worked so that’s what we stuck with for Friday at Britannia, with one small addition. Here’s the running order we have so far:

Opening 3 gags Ocelot/Barnum/Steroids - (on the first night we opened with way too many strung together)

Can I do Eurovision? - Introduced Thurs, got sympathy from start

I’m A Sock

Greatest Showman opening - (on the first night opened whole show with this. Much better after I’m A Sock song, still needs better punchline).

Gags Burlescue/3 Rings/Knuckles/Leno - good, could use more

Philip Astley routine - (slashed by 2 thirds from first night, musical punchline introduced, from audience suggestion, 2nd night)

Mad Cow adlib (started as adlib Weds, currently part of script)

Anne Hathaway Song - this will have to be replaced by something better.

Performance Artist - Remembered this from the 07 show and threw it in adlib on 2nd night. It works.

Audience suggests acts. This has given us good adlibs so far. Whether they’ll work so well as repeats we’ll have to see. Lion Tamer was good, Knife Thrower good, Juggling I developed into a routine with sound effects for Friday, which suffered from bad sound, it might stay.

Bechdel Test - Repeated from last year’s show, for Thurs & Fri. Will have to go.

Magic Routine - Brilliant as always (from 2010). So tight, we just have to make everything else this tight and we have a good show.

Nicole Kidman - Worked well from start. ‘Flying Fuchs’ monologue may have to go.

Brexit/Polish/marriage - contrived but seems to work as a plot line.

Eurovision Brexit song - Now works as it’s integrated into the plot.

Lady In Pants - gappy but it works.

Cross Channel Golf - a bit long, not sure it fits. Might replace.

Greggs song - works well. Would like to expand into dance routine.

Grimaldi routine - My favourite new routine. We need more like this.

City Of Stars song - seems popular, it’s a grower

Trapeze act - quite good but needs tightening. Call back to juggling is good (need more of these)

Phantom Of Opera Finale - Good in parts, getting better as it goes. Not the greatest showstopper, could we find something new and perfect?

Don’t Let’s Be Beastly - A mild end to the show, people seem satisfied with it. Again, if something amazing comes along in the next spate of writing, all the better.

So we have a good plot, with the capacity for tightening, and much more staying on topic than last year’s show. I’m inspired to keep writing, feeling like we’re building towards more of a Shakespeare than a Superheroes.

The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre: Roll Up! at The Gilded Balloon Patter Hoose, July 31st - Aug 25th 2019 at 9.30pm. On sale now!

Socks @Edfringe On Sale Already - earliest date ever!

It's the earliest date ever that the Socks' Edinburgh Fringe show has gone on sale, and on sale it is! It's the middle of March, we're still about to do the second of our three Glasgow Comedy Festival tryout gigs, and tickets are already on sale for ROLL UP! at Edinburgh. You can start buying them here, if you're so inclined.

And we're proud to announce we're inaugurating a brand new Gilded Balloon venue. It's called Patter Hoose (or is it The Patter Hoose, time will tell), which used to be C Venues opposite the Museum. And I'm in a room called Dram which, purely by chance, shares its name with the venue I'm playing in in Glasgow. What were the chances of that.

And the best thing is The Socks are on at 9.30. It's the first time we've managed to nab ourselves an early primetime slot like this for some years (we've been going up at 10.30 for a goodly while now) so let's hope this suits our punters well.

The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre: Roll Up! at The Gilded Balloon Patter Hoose, July 31st - Aug 25th 2019 at 9.30pm. On sale now!

Messy Kids Lazy Pets Shedding Husbands - comics by kids in Dublin

A week of classes in Dublin, expertly organised by the librarians of the JSCP libraries in these schools, and I got to work with eight grand groups, plus had a day off in the middle in which I stayed in my hotel room all day and wrote my new Edinburgh show. These comics are the first of the week, from St Pauls CBS in the North of the city.

Killinarden School is in Tallaght, where I was based (at The Plaza Hotel, now you ask) for the rest of the week. Aside from a rubbish TV, it was a good base from which to reach the week's schools. I Wanna Be A Cowboy is a meme, inevitably, and Nitna was a form of cyber bullying, based on a guy who hangs around the local shops. 4th and 5th years, of course.

My favourite cover came from St Kevins Crumlin where the chance to draw someone in the sewer gave me that much more to draw. Also loved drawing a chip shop.

And St Aidans gave me the favourite title of the week, a line from a Simpsons comic chosen by a kid at random. And finally to Colaiste Dhulaigh for the sweeetest and most unlikely title of the week. Cheesy, but a good way to wind up.

The 7 celebrities these groups chose for my demonstration strip (which I skipped with one group) were Michael Jackson (twice, this being the week of the Neverland documentary being watched by all high school kids), Will Ferrell, Donald Trump, Conor McGregor, Freddie Mercury and Beyonce.

Kev F Sutherland, as well as writing and drawing for The Beano, Marvel, Doctor Who et al, runs Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries & art centres. email for details. Facebook, Twitter. Promo video here. 

eBay update - Lots Sold, One Problem Customer

I was chuffed to get a message from eBay congratulating me on 100 successful sales. And, though I might be winding the eBay selling down a bit as I get busy with schools and socks, there are still lots of items up there.

The less good news is that those are things that simply won’t sell and have been listed for a second, third or even 4th time.

The worst news is that I’m dealing with a customer who’s behaving suspiciously. He kept me waiting for payment as he bid for more and more items, ultimately bagging over 50 quids worth of comics, mostly the Captain Britain collection. Then he made an unusual request about how I should post them. Not getting this in time, I sent the comics by my usual method. Lo, a few days later, he’s demanding a refund and wants to send all 50 quids worth of comics back. Alarm bells are ringing, as Hev and I have heard of scams whereby buyers pretend to return goods but make deliberate errors to the address so it registers as returned but is never actually received by the original owner. I am trying to avoid being a victim of this scam by getting the suspect buyer to return the items in the three individual batches in which they were sent. If I receive the first intact, I’ll approve return of the second and so on. Let’s see how that progresses.

UPDATE: Reader, he returned every item, and they all looked the same as when they'd left me. I've re-photographed them and put them back on eBay.

Meantime, here’s my list of what’s actually sold this month. (Sold Feb 20 - March 10):

9 x Daredevils comic  £32.00

Captain Britain 1 - 13 (85). £31.00

4 Annuals Dredd, Lion Smash.  £21.00

Tamagotchi £21.00 (later got £10 refund)

Spawn 1. £20.00

Tantrum by Jules Feiffer. £15.00

Hulk 1 - 11. £14.08

2 x Radio Times Xmas 91, 98. £13.59

Revolver comic x 2. £13.00

12 x Planet Of The Apes. £10.50

2 x David Cassidy annuals. £10.00

5 x Warhammer comics. £10.00

15 x Rampage Defenders. £9.50

10 x Planet Of The Apes. £9.13

Radio Times Xmas 1987. £9.00

Monty Python Bok. £8.50

16 x Avengers & Conan £8.01

11 x Planet Of The Apes. £7.50

Phantom Stranger comic. £7.50

20 x Avengers & Conan. £6.50

Comic Relief comic + 3. £5.52

Robert Burns sheet music £5.50

Topper, Sparky, Hotspur annuals £5.00

5 x Quantum Leap comics. £5.00

8 x Power Man comics £5.00

Savage Sword 1 + 4  £4.71

Accolet Binoculars. £4.70

Bandmaster harmonica. £4.50

Comics Scene mag x2. £4.20

Esso football badges. £4.20

Spawn 9 & 11. £4.00

From Me To You sheet music. £3.70

14 x Planet Of The Apes. £3.53

Spec Spider Man 189. £3.50

All Star Superman 1. £3.50

Melody Maker 1978. £3.50

Heavy Metal comic x 2. £3.50

Titan no1 + 7  £3.50

Spawn 8. £3.50

Parrot harmonica. £2.50

Masonic sheet music. £2.50

6 x sheet music Carousel, Annie Get Gun £2.50

Fonz Poster mag  £2.50

Valour, Future Tense + 2  £2.50

Mad mag fall special. £2.50

6 x sheet music Lonnie Donegan. £2.50

It’s Only Make Believe sheet music  £2.50

9 x Heat magazines  £2.50

4 Buster mini comics  £2.50

11 comics inc Gladiators  £2.50

Space Precinct comic + 3. £2.50

Beano Anniversary + 8 comics  £2.50

Lion, Battle + 3 comics. £2.50

All Star Comics 1. £2.50

Beatles All My Loving sheet music. £2.50

Death graphic novel. £2.50

Roy Of Rovers + Tiger annuals. £2.50

Sinbad comic + 3 £2.50

Ronin x 3 £2.50

Philbert Desanex. £2.50

Plop comic x 4.  £2.50

Sound Of Music sheet music x 3. £2.50

Superman 202 203. £2.50

TOTAL (ex postage).  £437.87

(NB: I just noticed an addendum to an earlier post, meaning I've totalled up some of these items twice. As if anyone's keeping score.)

So, comparing this list with the list of unsellable items from the same period, we can conclude that batches of 10 or more comics from the 70s and 80s will sell, especially Crown Jewels like my Daredevils and Captain Britain collection, but individual US titles have a less than 50/50 chance of selling, as has sheet music (I’m pleasantly surprised to see sheet music standing at 7 items sold 8 items unsold though, I thought they'd done worse). Random old magazines like Mojo, Total Film, The Listener and Private Eye are currently unshiftable, so I’ll be trying them in larger batches when I try again. 

Items sold Feb 11- 20th
Items up to Feb 10
January sold items

See the full range of my eBay items for sale here

eBay - The Great Unsellables

As you probably know, I've been selling stuff on eBay, clearing out my childhood comic collection, and a vast stock of magazines and sheet music. I've been doing rather well with much of it, as reported elsewhere. However some items have been listed and relisted and failed to find a buyer.

If you want any, all my eBay items are here.

Here are the items that look like they will never sell.

4 x sheet music - Hollies, Wombles +

To Know Him Is To Love Him sheet music

All I Have To Do Is Dream sheet music

Why Do Fools Fall In Love sheet music

Living Doll sheet music

TV Tornado annual 1970

Spider Man weekly + 3 comics

Pebbles & Bamm Bamm + 3 comics

Valiant pullout comics

Radio Times Dr Who cover 2007

12 comics Action 21, Sonic, Duckula +

Super 296 + 3

2 x Radio Times Dr Who covers

5 x Radio Times Dr Who covers

3 x foreign Superman, Disney +

Rocketeer 1

Power comics 1

3 x Plastic Man

2 x Punisher

Sin City trade paperback

Total Film + 3 mags

3 x Mojo mag + Classic Rock

Fortean Times + 3 

The Listener x 3 + Sunday Times

2 x Private Eye Xmas specials

The Mask 1

Superboy 161

Superboy & LSH x 2

Marvel Spotlght

Marvel Premiere

DC Showcase 100

Silver Star 1 & 2

TMNT x 2

New Teen Titans x 2

Robocop v Terminator

DC Super Powers 1

Black & White Minstrels sheet music

6 x sheet music Brigadoon, Annie

6 x sheet music Irving Berlin

Superman 308

Superman 234

Stormwatch 1

10 x NMEs 2004-08

From which we can conclude that there’s no market for classic sheet music (though I’ve seen titles of this vintage going for high figures, the devil must be in the detail), and there are very few individual US comic titles that will sell on their own merit. (Again, I’d seen every single one of these go for a figure of £5 or more on eBay, though admittedly most were from US buyers and sellers which must be the key difference). And NMEs, no matter how big the job lot is, have to be at least 20 years old before they’ll find a buyer at all. 

If anyone wants these, they continue to go round the baggae carousel for your perusal, almost all starting at just £2.50

See the full range of my eBay items for sale here.