My acoustic guitar - on sale on eBay

Contain yourselves, don't get too excited but, this guitar is on sale on eBay. NOW! http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=291141026517 There's even a video:


This beautiful Hohner acoustic guitar - an LW400N Arbor (he says, as if he'd ever read the label until today) - was used in my comedy stage act from 1989 until the mid 2000s and still sounds great - see me demonstrate it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1doaS...

It was bought in 1989, after its predecessor got trodden on at a gig in London (as a result of which I had to borrow Mark Lamarr's guitar to do the show). This isn't Mark Lamarr's guitar, I hasten to add, this is mine. And soon it'll be yours.

It comes complete with soft guitar case and a couple of plectrums. And memories, so many memories. This guitar has been on stage with me for comedy shows all over the country, when I've preceded or followed such names as Peter Kay, Lee Mack, Tim Vine, Frank Skinner, Jo Brand, Simon Pegg, Miranda Hart and a hundred others. Why, many of them may have actually touched this guitar, while moving it out of their way backstage at such prestigious venues as The Comedy Box in Bristol and The Monkhouse Club in Leicester.

I wouldn't be surprised if Simon Pegg and Miranda Hart's fingerprints (and possibly even their DNA) is still all over this guitar.  It's played the old Comedy Store, the original Jongleurs, and dozens of comedy clubs that you needn't look for cos they're not there any more (the second Spinal Tap reference of the day, you'll find another in the demo video).

Collect only. I shan't risk posting this baby.

Guitar. On eBay. Priceless. But, for you, starting at £5.

 

Breaking Bad live - new from the Socks

(click to play) The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre perform a spoiler-free (and very short) version of Breaking Bad live at Leicester Comedy Festival. For your pleasure.



The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre are on tour... NOW!
May 9 - Exeter Barnfield
May 14 - Camden Head, London 
May 17 - Brighton Komedia
May 23 - Keighley Exchange
May 31 - Aylesbury Limelight
June 6 - Hazlitt Theatre, Maidstone
June 7 - Butlins, Bognor
June 11 - Camden Head, London 
June 19 - Phoenix Arts, Bordon Hants
June 20 - Derby Assembly Rooms
June 21 - Halifax Square Chapel
June 22 - Derby (family show) 
July 4 - Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham
July 9 - Bedford Fringe 
July 11 - Beverley Puppet Festival 
July 13 - Sheffield New Barrack Tavern 2pm
July 17 - Larmer Tree Festival, Wilts
July 18 - Leeds Carriageworks
July 19 - Cradley Heath Comedy Festival
July 22 - Comedy Den Cardiff
July 23 - Taurus Manchester
July 30 - Aug 25 Gilded Balloon, 10.30pm - Edinburgh Fringe 2014

'Heroin Moreish' gag is very moreish

I'm not saying this cartoon in today's Private Eye is unoriginal, but...

Don't I remember David Walliams saying "I can't be with you today, as I am busy taking heroin - be careful, it's a little moreish" in the guise of Lou Reed, at the 2002 NME Awards? (I can't find the clip, but here's an online citation).

And didn't Harry Hill famously have it as part of his act? This popular meme certainly thinks so...

It's a commonly used phrase, as this blog seems not to even need to mention its origin.  And it's already made its way onto a popular range of t-shirts:

Here's a forum where Russell Brand's being slagged off for using the gag, and here you can see Superhans in Peep Show saying it, but about crack.



It's so common, some people use it with no sense of irony. And here the Telegraph has decided, again with irony-filter off, that it's cocaine that's moreish.

And here's someone using the gag in a review about a football book.

Urban dictionary even uses the gag as the dictionary definition of Heroin!

So the lesson we've learned today is,  the "heroin is very moreish" gag? Well it is very - oh, you were ahead of me.

UPDATE: I'd like to apologise to cartoonist Jonesy, from whom I've received the following message that he'd like me to pass on :

Hand on heart, I had never come across this gag before. I'm not the first person to accidentally reinvent the wheel and I'm sure I won't be the last.
One thing I am sure of is that I don't need to resort to plagiarism to get my work published and I definitely don't need to "go online to find the next gag to sell to Private Eye".
You're welcome to visit my portfolio page on the PCO site:
http://procartoonists.org/portfolios/stevejones/
where you'll find a selection of my work which will, hopefully, assuage any doubts you have about both my integrity and ability to get original work published on a regular basis.
You may also care to visit my own website:
www.jonesycartoons.com
Just as I understand why you have written this article, I'm sure you'll understand why it should cause me great disappointment and no little offence.
Thank you for your time.
Regards,
Steve
(Jonesy Cartoons)

See also: Birth of an unoriginal original gag
and "A Site For Tired Eyes" stolen gag vs old idea



The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre ...And So Am I runs from July 30 - August 22 2014 at 10.30pm in The Gilded Balloon at The Edinburgh Fringe. Tickets are on sale already. 

Socks in Brighton - 2 new promo videos

You wait a year for a promo video for the Socks forthcoming shows at Komedia in Brighton on May 17 & 18 and, whaddayaknow, two come along at once. One slightly more Queen themed than the other. Watch them both, they're not long.

Socks in Brighton - very Queeny.
Socks in Brighton - less Queeny.

And as if that weren't enough, on the promotional video for forthcoming gigs front...

All go. No seriously, all go. To Brighton first, and Bognor a new weeks later. You know it makes sense.





The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre are on tour... NOW!
May 9 - Exeter Barnfield
May 14 - Camden Head, London 
May 17 - Brighton Komedia
May 23 - Keighley Exchange
May 31 - Aylesbury Limelight
June 6 - Hazlitt Theatre, Maidstone
June 7 - Butlins, Bognor
June 11 - Camden Head, London 
June 19 - Phoenix Arts, Bordon Hants
June 20 - Derby Assembly Rooms
June 21 - Halifax Square Chapel
June 22 - Derby (family show) 
July 4 - Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham
July 9 - Bedford Fringe 
July 11 - Beverley Puppet Festival 
July 13 - Sheffield New Barrack Tavern 2pm
July 17 - Larmer Tree Festival, Wilts
July 18 - Leeds Carriageworks
July 19 - Cradley Heath Comedy Festival
July 22 - Comedy Den Cardiff
July 23 - Taurus Manchester
July 30 - Aug 25 Gilded Balloon, 10.30pm - Edinburgh Fringe 2014

10 Yet More Bananaman Versions You Can't Unsee

You wait years for a Top Ten rundown of unusual Bananaman pictures to appear, then three come along at once. So having posted this list here, then this list here, here comes a third selection of Bananaman-as-you-never-saw-him-before images I've found.

10 - The Dark Bananaman. Drawn by Paul Cemmick in this month's SFX Magazine, picking up on the news that there's a Bananaman movie in the pipeline. Via @bromley001

9 - Savage Chickens' Bananaman. From the fantastic comic strip series, drawn on sticky notes by Doug Savage, a brilliant twist to a familiar tale. via Patrick Brown on Facebook.

8 - A Bananaman Nando's Finger Selfie. No, I didn't know there was such a thing as any of those things, but there is, and this is one by @MikeyCoughlan via @NandosUK

7 - Bananaman watches AFC Bournemouth. With his bezzie mate The Flash. He has to do something at weekends. via @afcbournemouth

6 - The Goodies ARE Bananaman. A lovely photo find by @RobertWRoss on Twitter, it's Tim, Bill & Graeme providing the voices for the 1980s Bananaman cartoon. Coincidentally the Goodies make a sneak guest appearance in this week's Beano.

5 - The Bat and The Banana. By the excellent Dan McDaid, whose work you might know from  Doctor Who magazine and elsewhere. Shark Infested Custard, of which you don't see nearly enough these days.

4 - The Banana Phone. How else do you summon The Man Of Peel? via @CuriousSatan

3 - People dressed as Bananaman. My God there's thousands of them. Here's just a handful from @HelenAndDouglas (for #SuperHeroFriday! #childrenshospiceweek), @A5shley, @yayburpees (for #burpeeyear), @MrLeeBrennan, @BHASnappy (for #BHAFC), and @FunStarsGoLive (for #HappyValley).

2 - Banana Boy, Banana Girl and, er, Banana Warrior of the Fruit Defenders. Studiously avoiding any names that may already have been taken, these characters are copyright & ™ Osprey Product Development.



1 - Miracle Banana. One part Bananaman, one part Miracle Man, all parts me and Wayne Thompson from The Beano earlier this year. Hopefully he returns soon, keep your eyes peeled comic book satire fans.



Kev F Sutherland, as well as writing Bananaman in The Beano, runs Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries and art centres - email for details, and follow him on Facebook and Twitter. He's been writing and drawing comics for 25 years, he must know something.

The UKIP Song - new from the Scottish Falsetto Socks

Brand new from the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, with apologies to Lennon & McCartney, a wee song about an inexplicably popular political party. It would be a delight if, a few years from now, nobody had any idea what this song is about. Click to play.

The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre ...And So Am I runs from July 30 - August 22 2014 at 10.30pm in The Gilded Balloon at The Edinburgh Fringe. Tickets are on sale already. 



The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre are on tour... NOW!
May 9 - Exeter Barnfield
May 14 - Camden Head, London 
May 17 - Brighton Komedia
May 23 - Keighley Exchange
May 31 - Aylesbury Limelight
June 6 - Hazlitt Theatre, Maidstone
June 7 - Butlins, Bognor
June 11 - Camden Head, London 
June 19 - Phoenix Arts, Bordon Hants
June 20 - Derby Assembly Rooms
June 21 - Halifax Square Chapel
June 22 - Derby (family show) 
July 4 - Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham
July 9 - Bedford Fringe 
July 11 - Beverley Puppet Festival 
July 13 - Sheffield New Barrack Tavern 2pm
July 17 - Larmer Tree Festival, Wilts
July 18 - Leeds Carriageworks
July 19 - Cradley Heath Comedy Festival
July 22 - Comedy Den Cardiff
July 23 - Taurus Manchester
July 30 - Aug 25 Gilded Balloon, 10.30pm - Edinburgh Fringe 2014

May in the Socks calendar - Damian Hirst

The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre's 2014 calendar is on the theme of modern art and June's page sees the boys taking on the Middle Aged British Artist Damian Hirst.

The calendar is on sale through Lulu.com at a devilishly reasonable price and is a joy to see and a marvel to treasure.

To see all 12 entries, plus the front cover, click and look at the free preview of the calendar. And you can see 2012 and 2013's calendar (cult icons and sci-fi respectively) on the website.



The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre are on tour... NOW!
May 31 - Aylesbury Limelight
June 6 - Hazlitt Theatre, Maidstone
June 7 - Butlins, Bognor
June 11 - Camden Head, London 
June 19 - Phoenix Arts, Bordon Hants
June 20 - Derby Assembly Rooms
June 21 - Halifax Square Chapel
June 22 - Derby (family show) 
July 4 - Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham
July 9 - Bedford Fringe 
July 11 - Beverley Puppet Festival 
July 13 - Sheffield New Barrack Tavern 2pm
July 17 - Larmer Tree Festival, Wilts
July 18 - Leeds Carriageworks
July 19 - Cradley Heath Comedy Festival
July 22 - Comedy Den Cardiff
July 23 - Taurus Manchester
July 30 - Aug 25 Gilded Balloon, 10.30pm - Edinburgh Fringe 2014