Thursday, 9 November 2023

Bahrain & Saudi Arabia - travels with my art

 


And then I flew to Bahrain. This was a novel trip, at the behest of Laurence Smith, who has organised some fascinating and varied jobs for me over the years (from drawing his family Christmas cards, caricaturing in Amsterdam, live-drawing a day of talks for a disability charity, to illustrating a giant mural based on the suggestions of 100 employees drawn live on a massive roll of paper). This time it was another workplace training event, for healthcare workers. And it was to be in Saudi Arabia.

I didn't advertise this widely in advance because, in all honesty, I feared Saudi Arabia's human rights record wasn't something I wanted to be associated with. Then, when you visit a country and see things first hand, you discover that most people are getting on with regular lives, regardless of what their government is up to. In my whistle stop two day visit, which took four days with travel, I met a number of doctors and professionals who all seem to love the life out here. Some were Saudis, and some from other countries. All told me about the increased liberalising of the country which may have a few years to go progress wise but, on the surface, looks familiar and pleasant. It may not seem much, but they have cinemas, women are allowed to drive and not wear head coverings, and there are no Religious Police any more. Like I say, baby steps.


Here you can (just about) see Laurence at the Ithra art museum. He was marvellous in keeping me entertained and occupied throughout Saturday. First Asim, his colleague, and I travelled in on Friday night, about which more in a moment. Then first thing Saturday the three of us went to a warehouse / lockup of Desert Designs where we had the chance to browse and buy some local artefacts. Then it was off to Ithra, which was host to an exhibition of very strong architectural work, a display by recent graduates, a good contemporary art collection, and an exhibit on the history of Saudi, and of Aramco, the company I'd be working for. From there we went to the mall, then it was off to an evening meal at an Armenian restaurant where I met all the doctors who would be leading the following day's talks.


The training day ultimately came down to two hours of talks and, on my part, lots of drawing. But the preparation took most of the day, and gave me the opportunity to churn out lots of drawing. At time of writing I still have to colour and assemble all the various components.


The travel was another story. Above you see Asim and me, in no man's land in between Bahrain and Saudi, waiting for our driver Mohammed to emerge from the police station. We were waiting over an hour for that bit. And that was only one of the longeurs which ended up making the 45 minute journey from Bahrain to Saudi take an unprecedented four hours.

I'd started Friday with an early start, driving to Purple Parking near Heathrow, then going through all the airport procedures, followed by a 6 hour flight. Which, by the way, I loved, using it as an excuse to watch movies & TV (The Flash, a Doctor Who, and the pilot of Poker Face again, amongst other things). Asim met me, and we and Mohammed hit the road.

Unfortunately, after only a few minutes on the road, something hit us. A car clipped the corner of our car at high speed then shot off before anyone could even get his number. Mohammed pulled in and rang the police. There now followed a half hour wait by the roadside for the police, who never came. Mohammed's concern was that he couldn't go back into Saudi from Bahrain without reporting this, for insurance purposes, and he needed something official on paper from the police.

When the police failed to show, we drove on and, just over the hill, passed a five vehicle pile up which rather suggested why they were too busy to deal with us. It's not impossible that the mad driver who'd clipped us went on to cause the accident we then drove past.

Whatever, Mohammed still had to report things, hence Asim and me waiting for an hour outside the Border Police office. But, with all that done, and by now over two hours behind schedule, we were surely on the home stretch.

Not so fast. Because now I had to get fingerprinted at the Saudi border, a process which involved so much waiting, for no obvious reason, that the best part of another hour was taken up. 

That done it would be plain sailing from here. You'd think. But no. Because, before they would let us go to the Fingerprint Centre, a border guard at one of the gates insisted on hanging on to Asim and Mohammed's passports. And, when we walked back to retrieve those, the guy kept us waiting, for no obvious reason, for another half hour. With all of these waits, the guys holding us up would stand around laughing and chatting, making it demonstrably clear that they were just holding us up for the fun of it. Not fun.

Four hours later, having landed at 11.30pm Bahrain time, I got to my massive hotel suite at 3.30am. We were up for breakfast by 8am and on with Saturday.


I had a marvellous and memorable weekend, and am so grateful to Laurence, Asim and Mohammed and the rest for making it happen. My return flight saw me sadly failing to watch any movies as I'd hoped. At was a 2am flight and, not surprisingly, I fell asleep as soon as we were in the air and didn't wake until we were coming in to land. Above you can see the view from my window, which has to be one of the best airline window views I've ever had.

My Books and where to get them:

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 
Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon

Richard The Third - Amazon - Etsy

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy 
The Book Of Esther - Lulu  - Amazon 
Captain Clevedon - Amazon
Tales Of Nambygate - Amazon  
 


Wednesday, 1 November 2023

October Book Sales - a good start from D2D

I famously never make any sales through D2D via Ingram, often getting a big zero for my book sales. That changed this month when Richard The Third was available to pre-order through most of October, then went on sale on Oct 30th. Come Nov 1st I find I've sold 59 units, giving me $90 profit. It's not going to set the world on fire, but it's a good start.

It comes with a slight downside. Yesterday I contacted Gardners about selling Richard The Third direct to bookshops through them. Unfortunately, because I've used my own ISBN number for both my printed version and the Ingram Print-On-Demand version, the latter is the only one that'll be available through their system. It is on sale at £8.99, the price that D2D/Ingram fixes once it's taken its percentage, whereas my Recommended Retail Price (as printed on my version of the book) is £6.99.

All this means is that, if you buy the book direct from me, it's cheaper, and it's signed. But it is very good news that international customers can get the paperback, as I know they can get from Barnes & Noble here, as well as from Amazon here.

D2D Oct sales - $90.48

Sept - £0, August $4.23, July $7.39, June $6.03, May $1.86, April $1.52, March $2.46, Feb $0, Jan $4.10


And how's this for a screenshot of my D2D sales for 2023, as of November 2nd. 10 copies of Richard sold in the first 2 days of November, taking it to 66 sales already (that's $14.98 already for November, which already beats every other previous month but October). The runner up Midsummer Night's Dream Team has only sold 14 copies all year, and the next best is Book Of Esther on 9.

Lulu/Amazon October sales - £14.23

Euro Best Of - 3 (UK)
Doctors Who - 2 (UK)
Euro 2 - 2 (UK)
Captain Clevedon - 1 (UK)
Scottish Pop - 1 (US)
Tales from Bible - 1 (US)
Shakespeare Omnibus  - 1 (DE)

September sales - £18.76, Aug £33.34, July £27.60, June £29.94, May £48.33, April £52.26, March £8.56, Feb £38.57, Jan £35.25, & Dec £26.84

Blurb October sales - 39p

Sept - £1.29, August £0, July £1.17, June £0, May 74p, Apr £9.12, Mar £3.13, Feb £3.21, Jan 12p

Etsy October sales - £51.92

Eurovision 1 - 3 
Eurovision 2 - 1
Tales From Bible - 1
Socks Superheroes - 1
MNDT - 1

Sept £0, August £13.98, July £48.93, June £55.92, May £58.05, Apr £171.05, Mar £80.86, Feb £44.50, Jan £82.86

Live at events October sales - £86.93 (Bewdley Lit Fest & Zion Bristol)

September £965.55, August £565.49, July £460, June £304.50


My Books and where to get them:

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 
Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon

Richard The Third - Amazon - Etsy

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy 
The Book Of Esther - Lulu  - Amazon 
Captain Clevedon - Amazon

Tales Of Nambygate - Amazon  

Tuesday, 31 October 2023

Quizzer & Chips & other stories - October's musings

Oct 1: Not to blow our own trumpet , but my team only went and won the @jenny_from_the_quiz pub quiz last night at the Lakes International Comic Art Festival
We were Helen Quigley, Andrew Sewell, John Freeman and me - Quizzer and Chips

*******

Oct 5: Richard The Third - the Shakespeare graphic novel for fans of Dogman and Bunny vs Monkey - is available to order on Amazon now!

Oct 7: Loved: last night’s episode 1 of Ghosts final series
Hate: that the whole series has been dumped, as one, on iPlayer. This means the whole “party watch” once-a-week, must-see rendezvous nature of the show has been lost. The “water cooler discussing the recent episode” experience has been destroyed. The once a week podcast has been rendered futile.
And we have to, either, avoid spoilers for six weeks or gobble the whole series down like a toddler who finds the Christmas chocolates, with the inevitable disappointment this will bring.
Meanwhile Disney are releasing Loki, Only Murders, and The Bear as weekly episodes, because they know the value of audience-building, extending awareness, and viewer experience for broad-appeal shows.
I notice they haven’t dumped the whole series of Have I Got News For You though. Someone must know where the bodies are buried. (Or how time works).

*****

Oct 6: Gosh Loki 2.1 was a bit poor wasn’t it?
What happened to the magic of the first series? That was all maguffin and no drama.
Pretty pictures though, I’ll give it that

*****

Oct 9 (re article about the Frasier reboot):

“…there were three networks and 30 great comedy writers. Now we have 500 networks and 30 great comedy writers.”
Nice James Burrows interview, with good points on future of sitcom. The “theatre with a camera pointing at it” he has excelled in, with a live studio audience, now seems such a legacy product.
Emerged in the 50s, flourished in the 70s, had a second golden age in the 90s, but now seems a slightly odd thing.
Frasier ended just as The Office started, along with shows like Parks & Rec, and Malcolm In The Middle. What was once called Comedy Drama, because it had no laugh track, gradually became the new norm for sitcom. Now, with leading examples from Ghosts to Superstore, Brooklyn 99 to What We Do In The Shadows, who would ever bring a live audience back into the studio?


Oct 11 (Labour Party Conference):

Not saying it was a feeble protest, but Motsi has more dust blowing behind her every week on Strictly
Still, nice to see they’re keeping Ed Miliband busy

*****

Oct 18: I'm not sure if this is good or not, but I'm choosing to believe it is. Richard The Third is currently #149 in Comic Book Adaptations of Classics for Children on Amazon
Well, I was impressed.

(Update: It rose as high as 40 at one point)

*****

Oct 19: A Haunting In Venice fares poorly at box office

I know I keep sharing these "box office disaster" stories. Can we just conclude that, before 2020, lots of people went to the cinema, and that, since 2020 (for reasons no-one can explain), a lot fewer people are going to the cinema?
It's not the films' fault (though, obviously, it draws attention to films that are over-expensive to make, and ones that maybe were never all that good in the first place), it's just the way things are now.
So the bigger question is what do we do next? Do we champion lower budget movies, and use this as an incentive to emphasise new writing and novel ways of film making (like happened in the early 70s)? Do we relish our heyday of small-screen viewing (as also happened in the mid 70s)? Or do we re-invent the blockbuster again (like in the late 70s) and then invent some new technology that looks like it'll kill cinema for good but accidentally ends up reviving it (like we did at the end of the 70s with VHS)?
My prediction: More expensive streaming. I am so shortsighted I can't see another solution in the short term. Who can see something better?


 On my tour of schools in the North, up to and down from the Lakes International Comic Art Festival, I’ve been sending Hev photos of my occasionally subterranean hotel rooms, if only to stop her being jealous of my exotic travels.

The wide angle lens may not do justice to just how bijou some of these rooms are.

*****

Oct 20: Steph's Packed Lunch cancelled

So, whither Steph McGovern now?
Once upon a time, if you defected from the BBC there was no coming back. Who remembers the fate of The Goodies, Morecambe and Wise, and poor old Simon Dee? But that was a long time ago.
So, who can we think of who’s left a lofty position at the Beeb, gone to ITV, Sky or whoever, but has then returned to the fold?
Or, in these days of monetisable podcasts and YouTube channels, does it not matter any more and she’s better off out in the wilderness?

*****

Oct 24: Currently watching Poltergeist. It is so very obviously, and characteristically, a Spielberg movie, it’s hard to imagine how anyone has ever thought anything else.



Watched the excellent The Fabelmans last night. And realised, from the big movie tip the kid gets, that I learned everything I know from watching Spielberg films:
"When the horizon is at the top, it's interesting. When it's on the bottom, it's interesting. When it's in the middle, it's boring as shit!"

*****

Oct 24: Blimey, isn’t Boiling Point good?
It’s the most dramatic drama of all the shows we’re watching at the mo. The actors are so real and the emotions so gripping. It’s reminding me that I’m watching a lot of stuff that’s a lot more superficial , showy. And I guess quite a lot is a bit American, in an insincere way.
It’s got a lot in common with The Bear, though I’ve got to say I find that a bit shouty and macho in comparison.
Recommended


This, Loki, is now officially the worst written TV show we’re currently watching
A little research tells me it’s because season 2 has a new showrunner, who wrote 1 ep of the excellent season one, but has proved to be America’s own Chibnall.
The good news is that the excellent season 1’s showrunner is now writing for… Doctor Who!
Doctor Who 1 - Loki 0
Update: My mistake. Michael Waldron was the showrunner of Loki 1, who has been replaced by the less good Eric Martin. Sadly Waldron isn't moving to Doctor Who. He's writing the next Avengers movie.
Update: I’m being unfair to Chris Chibnall who, for all his problems with exposition and his inability to resolve a plot, devotes a lot of time to developing characters, and he writes a lot of humour that he doesn’t get enough credit for. I’ll say it now, Chris Chibnall is a better writer and showrunner than Eric Martin.



Oct 28: Congratulations to Heather Tweed for her brilliant talk at the Music Hall Society Conference today. Superstar.

****

Oct 29: Very sad news about the death of Matthew Perry. If only Friends was being rerun somewhere, anywhere.
Could that be any more inappropriate?

*****

Oct 30: Re article on Friends and death of Matthew Perry

“It’s hard not to mourn, along with the actor, the spirit of the 90s, with its relentless optimism and comically low stakes”
Really? Am I the only person who’s nostalgic, not for some Spirit of the Age, but for my own personal experiences and being younger?
For me the 90s was the biggest mixed bag of highs and lows (I started the decade working professionally in comics for the first time, and a few years later had had the business collapse around me and spent a while selling double glazing. NB Things improved later.)
I don’t remember “comically low stakes”, I remember thinking I’d have to declare myself bankrupt at one time. I don’t remember “relentless optimism”, I remember working for Marvel when they actually did file for bankruptcy and I ended up out of work again.
Could this article *be* any less about me. So, how you doing?
(Friends catchphrases. I’m doing Friends catchphrases.)

****

Oct 31: Thanks to the fabulous punters of Canterbury Festival last night for giving us a brilliant sellout show (sounded like a sellout to us). Eurovision with extra added Halloween, great fun.

My Books and where to get them:

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 
Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon

Richard The Third - Amazon - Etsy

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy 
The Book Of Esther - Lulu  - Amazon 
Captain Clevedon - Amazon

Tales Of Nambygate - Amazon  





Thursday, 26 October 2023

Richard The Third is here

Good news, all you lovely Richard The Third sponsors, the books have arrived from my marvellous printer Stuart Gould. Here's a video of me 'unboxing' them:



Now I have the fun task of packaging them dispatching them to you all. Brace yourselves, they'll be with you soon. As soon as I can manage.

If you'd like to recommend the book to friends, they can order signed copies at £6.99 each direct from me here

Or, if they're in some far flung corner of the world (where postage would be prohibitive) they can get the Amazon edition at £8.99 (but probably with free postage) here

And I can announce, with some amazement, that on pre-orders alone Richard The Third is currently.....
No 40 in Comic Book Adaptations of Classics for Children
358 in Fiction Comics & Graphic Novels for Young Adults
362 in Fiction Classics for Young Adults



Not bad eh? And all thanks to you. Watch your mailboxes next week.

Kev F


My Books and where to get them:

Richard The Third - Amazon - Etsy

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 
Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy 
The Book Of Esther - Lulu  - Amazon 
Captain Clevedon - Amazon

Tales Of Nambygate - Amazon  

Wednesday, 25 October 2023

Ho ho ho - fun with a social media check


Can you spot anything wrong with the post, above, about me colouring my Story Of Joseph strip for Bible Society, back in 2018? Me neither. But I'll tell you who did find a problem with it. A company called Social Media Check.

You may recall, way back in January 2022, I appeared, with my Scottish Falsetto Socks, on Britain's Got Talent. Or rather I didn't. I filmed my audition on the stage of the London Palladium in January, our photo appeared in the launch publicity in March, and then, after a few months, it was clear that our appearance wasn't going to be broadcast. I naturally put this down to our performance not having been that great, and thought no more about it.

Until this week when, for various reasons, I remembered that back in March 2022 I'd been sent the results of a check that had been run on my social media, for Thames TV, by Social Media Check. And I wondered, could that have had anything to do with the decision not to broadcast our performance? So I looked again at the results. They came in two documents. The first was my Social Media Certificate.


It states, under Overall Risk Assessment, "Online Behaviourial Risks: Found" (above).

It then goes on to identify four categories. In Online Communication it reports "any findings within Swearing & Profanity and Consistently Negative Sentiment" and says that the  "Findings within this section were identified as potential risks and the original material signposted within the Digital Risk Assessment for review."

It does the same for Cyber Conduct, identifying Hate Speech and Banned or Proscribed Groups; for Personality Risks, identifying online trolling and verbal abuse; and for Digital Behaviour, identifying "pornographic and lewd content". In all four sections it says I have posts that are identified as potential risks.

In short, this Social Media Certificate makes me out to be some kind of cross between Gary Glitter and Osama Bin Laden.

I wasn't sure these results could be trusted. So, having let the thing lie in a drawer for 18 months, I checked out some of the links that were given in the accompanying document, the detailed Social Media Check Report. This broke down the fact that it had looked at my Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, had examined 23,066 posts (rather helpfully telling me these had been viewed 161,462 times), and found 868 of these to have 'findings'. This, they said, was 4% of my posts.

4% problematic might not sound all that bad, but it still had me worried. I was being accused of using Hate Speech and posting pornographic content. And I was being accused in a formal document that had been paid for by, and sent to, a potential employer - who ended up not employing me.


Above you'll see, from the linking image in the PDF, that the Social Media Check Report clears me of any Negative Sentiment or Violent Images. This is ironic, given the thoughts I was having, already, towards Social Media Check.

I looked first at Potential Nudity. There was just one post in this section. Brace yourselves for it, it's a bit of a shocker. I was sharing a headline and a photo from The Guardian, and accompanying it with a rather funny joke I thought. And here is that "potentially nude" photograph...


Yes, you're right. It is a picture of Boris Johnson's face. This is the item of "potential nudity" that led Social Media Check to alert my potential employers at Thames TV that I was an Online Behavioural Risk. I felt the rest of the document merited exploration.

Under Hate Speech they had included the following link (and others similar) highlighting the word "Pansy". This post, and the others, were related to the fact I was writing and drawing the strip Pansy Potter in Beano comic at the time.


Also in Hate Speech they had included every time I have used the word "loon". Loon is an affectionate term for a small child in Aberdeen. I am from Aberdeen.

Also in Hate Speech they had included every time I have used the word "Nazi" in a post about a news story. Even though, on every occasion, I am being critical of Nazis. Somehow this has been counted against me.

Also in Hate Speech they had included this post and selected the word "chink" from the phrase "chink in the armour". I would suggest they are being the racists there.

Also in Hate Speech they had included this post (pictured below) suggesting it uses the word "ching" in it twice. Where do I begin? Firstly I would have to ask whether "ching" is even a word, let alone an offensive word. Secondly I would have to point out that their system has misread the image which featured only the words "clutching" and "aching" from which the system has made new words, then decided that they were offensive.


Also in Hate Speech they had included this post (and others similar) where they suggest I have used a word I have not used and that does not appear anywhere in the post. In this instance they suggest the word "coon" appears. It does not. The system has mis-read the word "cool".

Under Swearing and Profanity they had included this post (and others similar) highlighting the word "cock". The system has misread, from an image, the word "sock" which appears many times, being the title of my comedy show The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre.

This is a mention of the Morecambe and Wise writers, Sid and Dick (you can guess which word is flagged as offensive). Similarly they'd flagged up a word from the name of Buster comic character Clever Dick, singled out part of the name Dick Van Dyke, and there was also a reference to the comic character Desert Island Dick, but I'd already removed that one myself.


Then we come to the Ho's. Oh, so many Ho's.

This became the most hilarious part of the search, as I went through the Social Media Report to find dozens of instances where Social Media Report's bots had identified the word "ho" - which they are under the delusional belief that a middle-aged white man living in Wales has ever used to describe anything other than a gardening implement - and in every instance they have identified something totally inoffensive, or not even that word:

This is a reference to the film director Bong Joon Ho.
This is a post in Italian, where ho means "I have".
This post contains the word "ho" - as part of the word "psycHOtic"
This post contains the word "ho" as part of the logo of The PHOenix comic.
Other posts include laughing pirates (see above), and Santa Claus, and indeed me laughing at something, or echoing the Seven Dwarves' "Hi Ho". 
Here, if you want to research them yourself, are the other instances of "Ghost Hoes" that I was researching when, mysteriously, I had to stop.


I had to stop searching on Tuesday afternoon when, inexplicably, the posts in question suddenly disappeared from Facebook. Posts I'd searched earlier had suddenly become unavailable, as had posts in the Social Media Check Report that I had still to look at.

This was very suspicious, and I have asked Social Media Check whether they had anything to do with the posts' disappearance. They haven't replied and, by Wednesday morning, the posts have returned to Facebook.

There are more instances I can tell you about from this erroneous document, for example this post, which says it contains the word "ass" (it doesn't); this one, of many, that says it contains the word "cock" (it doesn't); this one, of very many, which thinks it has the word "shit" in, but has in fact imagined the word after seeing the last letter of "year's" and the first letter of "hit" in the phrase "last year's hit show"; this post which has the word “Beaver” singled out as swearing, in a cartoon of the animal, the beaver; and this which misreads the word “titles” as “tities” which, I assume, is how it thinks I’d spell “titties”.

Amusing as these findings are, they are of course serious. This document was sent to a potential employer, who commissioned it in order to find whether a potential employee's social media would be embarrassing or problematic to them. The Social Media Certificate, taken at face value, very much suggests that I, the person named on the document, would be just that.

It would need an employer to search individually through the 800 posts listed in the Social Media Report to be able to identify that, in fact, the accused person was totally innocent and had been unfairly maligned. Would all employers do this? I don't know.

I have been assured by Thames TV that this Social Media Check was not the reason I didn't appear on BGT. I was clearly just not very good telly, as I had already concluded. But my concern remains for anyone whose employers or potential employers have used Social Media Check to examine their posts. I would urge you to check through the document yourself, link by link. And if anyone finds such a document has been used unfairly against them, I would urge them to seek redress.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do, and posts to send. These Hoes won't hide themselves.

Kev F Sutherland, October 2023

My Books and where to get them:

Richard The Third - Amazon - Etsy - Barnes & Noble - Waterstones
Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy - Kindle
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 
Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy - Webtoons
The Book Of Esther - Lulu  - Amazon - Webtoons
Captain Clevedon - Amazon
Tales Of Nambygate - Amazon  


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