Doctor Who Tsurungdngrumdung Dung - some thoughts

Ever watched a Doctor Who episode where you guessed what the plot twists might be, and they went ahead and didn’t bother doing any?

(Spoilers ahoy)

The Doctor is clutching her side in pain. 
My thought: The system has rearranged her organs in human configuration not Time Lord, so she’s going to have to do an operation on herself to make room for her second heart.
Chibnall’s solution: We don’t mention her pain again, it just gets better.

There’s a clock-ticking time-bomb sense of urgency.
My thought: This will drive the drama and we’ll do everything really fast
Chibnall: The lead characters will stop and chat, for absolute ages, really slowly

There’s a guy who’s about to give birth.
My thought: He’s going to do a warrior-like ritual, childbirth being a macho rite of passage for the men of his race.
Chibnall: He’s an archetypal woman giving birth, like in Casualty.

The alien out of Lilo and Stitch only green eats spaceship.
My thought: He eats the self destruct mechanism
Chibnall: He eats the self destruct mechanism
My next thought: But then it turns out that this makes him mad and so he’s about to eat the rest of the ship double fast, so with great regret The Doctor ejects him
Chibnall: With no regret The Doctor ejects him

There’s a famous space pilot who’s lying about her illness
My thought: The illness is a bad heart which will be okay as long as she doesn’t use the body-linked controls. She only reveals this while she’s in mid-rescue and it’s too late.
Chibnall: She explains it almost immediately then dies, as you were expecting

The ship has to fly through an asteroid belt
My thought: We see the ship flying through an asteroid belt, which will be exciting
Chibnall: Let’s not bother with exciting, eh?

My further thought in the asteroid belt: Just when you think they’re safe, there's a big object heading towards them that shouldn’t be there. It’s one of the Junk Planets (seen at start) spinning out of kilter. And now it’s heading for them, the pilot’s just died, there’s no escape. But why has it changed course, and what can they do?
The solution: The Pting landed on that planet when we ejected it, and has changed its course by eating its core out. Just as the planet’s about to hit us, we see the Pting emerging from the junk and, seconds before collision, he eats the last bit of junk and the planet flies apart. We sail home safely.

There’s a bomb on the junk planet.
My thought: We find out who put it there and why
Chibnall: Ha ha, yes that would be… nah can’t be arsed.

If I’m so clever, why don’t I write a Doctor Who episode?