Sunday 25 June 2023

Telly and twaddle - my June Facebook musings


My latest favourite TV show: Poker Face. Who else is watching it?

It is, in the best possible ways, reminiscent of the TV series of my youth: one part Columbo, one part Incredible Hulk. And it is all stand-alone episodes, not a series-long story. When did that stop being a thing?

Only two episodes in, and loving it. No spoilers, but its format, indeed it’s contrived structure, formula even, reminds you how rarely TV does shows like this any more. I am loving playing along with the Spot The Clue nature of the show - did I mention two of my favourite shows as a kid were Whodunnit and The Ellery Queen Whodunnit?

Also it’s by Rian Johnson, whose Knives Out was a major inspiration for my third graphic novel (the one where I turned Midsummer Nights Dream into a heist movie). Recommended. 

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On the plus side, in todays Derby at Epsom no Emily Davisons have been killed.
So there’s that.


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Re: Confess Fletch

Well, this wasn’t very good. Not as unsuccessful as last week’s Quantumania, at least we saw this one through (having chosen it partly because it was only 90 mins long). But it seemed so old fashioned, a very 1980s script. And Jon Hamm just doesn’t work. It was as if every line had been written for 1980s Bill Murray.
If you watch it, and I would urge no haste in that regard, try hearing all of Jon Hamms lines read by Bill Murray. See? Suddenly it’s a lot funnier.
The plot, though, remains pedestrian. Given the plethora of comedy crime thrillers around these days, and the great scripts many have, this is very very dated.

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Asterix and the Mansions of the Gods was fun. Possibly the closest visual adaptation of a comic since Watchmen, with story expansion that gets a bit silly but, for kids, isn’t at all bad. I only have two quibbles.
One: the slaves, obviously. But moving on from that…
Two: the voice casting. The edition we watched on Disney has been re-re dubbed, from the American version to a new English cast. And I do mean English.
There’s a syndrome I named the Watership Down Syndrome, 40 years ago watching the film of that name, in which a cartoon had used every top British stage actor of the day, and hadn’t realised that, when you can’t see their faces, plummy RADA actors all sound the same. (Can you tell Ralph Richardson, John Geilgud, Ian Holm et al apart? Cos we couldn’t)
Asterix ATMOTG suffers this syndrome badly. For a start, all the Gauls are posh and English. What? Indomitable Gauls from *checks every single book* The North? And then there is some casting which doesn’t help tell characters apart.
Nick Frost is a good Obelix, largely cos he does it as Jim Broadbent. Jim Broadbent is an okay Caesar, except he doesn’t sound enough like Jim Broadbent. Matt Berry is a great Vitalstatistix, and Greg Davies is the best bit of casting, as an excellent Centurion.
But do you know who’ve they’ve cast as Asterix? Do you? Go on guess.
Jack Whitehall. Jack Whitehall as the short, acerbic, Northern Gaul? Didn’t work for me. Nor did Harry Enfield as a Roman citizen doing a midlands accent that made him hard to actually hear.
Worst stunt casting was the double act of Fulliautomatix and Unhygenix. The Chuckle Brothers might have been good. Or Vic and Bob. Instead they chose to cast two performers whose voices you’d never pick out in a blind test, let alone cast as cartoon characters: Dick and Dom. I know.
It’s from 2014, so I know I’m a bit late to the party . Still, a bit of fun.


You know when you dread looking at Twitter cos you just know Ed Sheeran will be trending?

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The good news? I just asked at the pharmacy “where do I pay for my prescription?”
They said: “You don’t”
The less good news: Dammit. I’m so old I don’t pay for my prescriptions!
NB: To readers in the USA this post will make no sense. Sorry.

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Today's Amazon bargain, my 1960s Pop Star Colouring Book is on sale for just £5.94. It's 90 pages, with articles on each of the artists as well as hand drawn images by me.
Again, this is lower than the RRP and lower than I can get copies myself! I dunno if I get money for this, but it's a steal for you.
And, by the way, it's a great book


That moment when you realise you’ve seen someone’s Bottom.
Just saw this clip and realised I’d already seen Hammed Animashaun out of Black Ops in the National Theatre’s Midsummer Night’s Dream.

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Who else writes the date on the ink cartridges when they change them?
Just me? It’s just me, isn’t it.

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June 14: Sad to mark the passing of John Romita, aged 93. When I worked for Marvel, the art board you used was printed with him (or rather his wife’s) name. He was art director for years, and Virginia Romita board became the pre-printed board all Marvel artists drew on.
Of course out on the street you’ll see thousands of people wearing John’s work, because the key 1970s images of Spider-Man and The Hulk (and others) are the ones used on Marvel merch. He’s very big on wallpaper. Not that he ever saw any money from the constant reuse of those images he drew fifty years ago. Still, they’re great to see.

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June 15: If you have followed the #ComicsBrokeMe hashtag, you'll have read lots of comic creators telling tales of poverty, exploitation and disappointment*. Meanwhile the WGA Writers Strike highlights how creators on best-selling TV shows and movies are being exploited and fear for their future.
All of which begs the question: have creatives always been exploited? Does this happen in every industry? And why?
A further question is: why do so many of us bother? I know, for my part, I was a comic-reading funny-writing kid at school and always dreamed of doing it for a job. So I went to art college, then have spent the subsequent forty years trying to work in comics and comedy, and regularly succeeding.
I know a few of my contemporaries, and friends, who have become successful and rich doing what I do (and I will concede that they've managed this by, in most cases, actually being better at it than me), but it would seem they're the exceptions that prove the rule.
So I'm happy that I chose to pursue creative activities for a living, while fully aware that I'd have been wealthier and more secure in almost any other profession. Why does anyone else do it?
*I've also just re-read, for the umpeenth time, my favourite book Marvel Comics The Untold Story which is full of writers and artists getting ripped off and dumped.


Stumbled across on YouTube, an almost intact episode of Top Of The Pops from 1974. Quite amazing to see a dozen acts all miming live in the same studio on one night, no videos no recordings. And what a line up:
Queen (doing Killer Queen)
Sparks (Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth)
Roxy Music (All I Want Is You)
Rubettes (Juke Box Jive)
The Glitter Band (Let’s Get Together Again)
Pilot (Magic)
Splinter (Costa Fine Town, with Kenny Jones on handclaps for some reason)
Nosmo King & The Jarelles
Pan’s People (Then Came You)
Peter Shelley (not that one)
+ a couple more I didn’t catch
Slightly problematic to watch cos the presenter is… you can probably guess. That notwithstanding, this is the sound and vision of my childhood, which might explain a lot.

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Who's managed more than one episode of The Gallows Pole?
We made our way through the first, championing Shane Meadows' approach. But I challenge anyone not to, at some point, have thought "oh get on with it".
When the chance has come to watch a second episode we've both kind of shrugged and thought we'd prefer something else. Sorry Shane.




O Hel Stud

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June 12: Shakespeare lovers - bargain alert!
My graphic novel Midsummer Night's Dream Team is currently on Amazon for just £4.22!
I have no idea how long this price will last, it's their doing not mine. But the cover price is £5.99, usual price on Amazon is nearer a tenner!
Also, I see, on Amazon you can read the first 20 pages for free. If you're not hooked after that, I don't know what.

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Weirdest reply I've had from a school (contacting them about my classes):
"Thank you for your email. The first 100 words will be read."
I mean, does someone count the words as they're going along? Is this their way of encouraging self-editing? Whatever, I can be pretty sure that's one school I won't be hearing back from in a hurry.
NB: I've just counted up the words in the emailI sent, and it will be read up to this point:
"Drawing on my 30 years experience in..."
They'll never get as far as my signature.

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If you’ve not been watching Changing Ends on ITVX, you should. It’s an absolute joy. Most fun sitcom on at the moment.
Only prob: it’s on bloody ITVX, the shonkiest system, with adverts you cant fast forward through and big blank gaps between them. Why not show it on the main ITV channel, where it would get a massive audience?


So, who remembers this little baby? And more importantly how the hell to describe it on eBay.
It's the Gremlins toy that got banned. Inside the plastic shell you see a little wrinkled Mogwai. But put it in a glass of water and it swells to five times its size.
Anyone see why it got banned yet? Yes, in 1985, this toy made its way onto the open market before anyone realised that, if a child swallowed it, it would quite obviously expand in their throat and either choke them or do something otherwise undesirable.
It's going on eBay as soon as I can work out how to describe it (no one appears to have tried selling one before).


Well this was shit. We lasted less than 10 minutes.

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Re Headline: Who's Unhoused In California?

Hands up who’d heard the word ‘unhoused’, meaning homeless, before?
Why do sociologists, academics and their ilk insist on changing the term that everybody understands, into a new word that needs explaining?
Who’s got a favourite term that’s been unnecessarily updated?
The one I miss is Asperger’s. (We’re now lumped in with the rest of the Autistic Spectrum which, I think, does a disservice to people at the extremes of the spectrum).


Someone think theare in a sauna is new? Someone's never been to the Edinburgh Fringe.

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Re: Marvel's Secret Invasion

Well that was shit.
Managed to yawn our way through the first episode but won’t bother with any more. Quite the dullest TV show for a long time. Dull characters talking interminably about stuff that’s not remotely interesting, and then … nothing happens.
Even when (spoiler alert) they manage to reduce the female cast by literally 50%, it’s impossible to care.
So many missed opportunities, so much time.

Most impressive part? Their ability to get from Kensington Gardens to The Piece Hall in Halifax, on foot, in just a few seconds, all while pretending they were in Moscow.


Oh dear, there goes a bit of my childhood innocence. I was just comparing Asterix books, my old 1970s edition of Asterix In Britain with a more recent 2000s version.
Who remembered the dialogue of the black Pirate used to be quite so, er, characterful in its patois?

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June 22: The headlines have been full of some millionaires who paid a fortune to go to sea in a dodgy submarine. So you might have missed some more important news...
Or are all deaths at sea not equal after all?

Top Tip: Refugees trying to escape across the Mediterranean or the Channel. Why not take a couple of billionaires on the boat with you? That way, when you sink, someone will give a toss and you'll be in the headlines every day for a week.

And we all know that, if the Windrush had sunk, unless there'd been some millionaires on board it'd never have made the news.
And then the Tories would've deported any survivors.
Happy Windrush Day.

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We’re obsessed by 4 billionaires dying at sea, and ignoring the 100 poor people who died in the Mediterranean last week. And why? Because it’s what we’ve always done.
In my life of TV watching, the lives of the rich have always, but always, been more fascinating to people than the lives of the poor. For every Cathy Come Home or Shameless there are 100 Dynasty’s and Successions, Dallas, Real Housewives of Beverly Hill etc etc
It’s distasteful, that so many column inches are devoted to the Oceangate story, to the exclusion of the tragedies of refugee boat sinkings which are much more noteworthy and whose victims are more deserving of attention, but it’s nothing new. Most Shakespeare plays are about Kings, Queens and the members of powerful families. We the Groundlings have always been captivated by the actions of our rulers and betters. I guess High Net Worth Individuals are the conquering kings of the day.


It’s just after Midsummer Night, so we’re watching open air Shakespeare.
Which play? Well obviously it has to be….
Twelfth Night. Don’t worry, we’ll go and see MND in January.

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June 23: Happy Brexit Vote-iversary
How’s it going for you? Me, I’m getting exactly what I voted for.
I voted to Remain, which means I voted to be ignored and to have to watch from the sidelines as the economy and society were damaged irrevocably. I watched as a country I used to be quite proud of, with obvious caveats, became an international laughing stock.
Somewhere in the multiverse there’s a Britain where the Prime Minister looked at that 52% vote and said “well obviously this isn’t binding, let’s talk further”. Lucky them.

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Light relief on news this morning. Every time our local news tellls us “…MP says he behaved foolishly when he took cocaine” Hev and I laugh, as we get that Armstrong and Miller sketch springing to mind every time.
Disgraced MPs really are the gift that keeps on giving.
(On the downside, his by-election will be won by the Tories and he will remain just as rich as he was before. )

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Fiddler On The Roof lyricist Sheldon Harnick Dies

Hydle-deedle-deedle-dydle-deedle-dydle-deedle-bye

My Books and where to get them:

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon Etsy 
Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon
Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy 

Eurovision Colouring Vol 1 Amazon -  Lulu  - Etsy 
Eurovision Colouring Vol 2 - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

Eurovision French edition - Ã©dition en français
Eurovision Spanish edition - Libro para colorear
Eurovision German edition - Popstar Malbuch
Eurovision Italian edition - il libro da colorare 
Eurovision Swedish edition - Popstjärna MÃ¥larbok
Eurovision Colouring Best Of British - Amazon

Doctor Who Colouring - Amazon - Lulu  - Etsy 
Punk Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 
60s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 
70s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 
80s Pop Star Colouring Amazon
80s Superstars - Amazon
90s Pop Star Colouring Lulu - Etsy
2020s Pop Star Colouring Amazon
Bowie Colouring - Amazon
Scottish Pop Star Colouring - Amazon
Rom Com Colouring - Amazon
Royalty Colouring - Lulu
Christmas Movies Colouring - Amazon

NB: Etsy editions are signed and posted by me, and generally cheaper  







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