Saturday, 11 June 2011

Case Histories, Stewart Lee, ramblings

It's been a busy week, beginning with food poisoning (I don't remember having what Billy Connolly once called the de-orry-aye-hey-hoes before, and it's not pleasant) and spending the week recovering, while preaching comics in schools in Cardiff, Malmesbury, Bromsgrove and Glasgow (I really ought to say no to at least one school one day, but somehow I can't resist). And tonight I'm off to Suffolk to draw caricatures. Oh, and I managed to draw the first pages of Captain Clevedon comic in nearly twenty years earlier this week too. I also had time for some idle musings on...

Case Histories

This is a TV drama on BBC 1 starring Jason Isaacs, which was on the TV while I was working and recovering from my dicky tummy. And it frustrated the hell out of me. Not because of the stories, though they were disappointing enough. It seemed like plots from three episodes of Casualty squeezed into one story, with paper-thin characters of no real interest with very slight denouements. Heather pointed out they're adapted from books by Kate Atkinson, which puzzled her because she'd read some stuff by this author and considered her 'literary' (I put that in quotes cos I'm never sure what people mean, though I can only assume in this instance it meant 'better than what we're watching on telly right now'). Whatever had been so good in these books had clearly been removed in the transition to the screen. But that wasn't what frustrated me.

What so frustrated me was that the show was set in Edinburgh, only it wasn't. That is to say it was shot in Edinburgh. It's a city I know particularly well, and every backdrop is both familiar and gorgeous. But that was all it was, a backdrop. Not only did Edinburgh itself not feature in the stories, but wosrt of all - and this really is a bad thing - everyone was English!

Not only were most of the lead characters English, speaking with English accents, but there were even English actors attempting, with various degrees of success, to speak with Scottish accents! Is it only me who thinks that is clumsy, insulting, and criminally stupid? How could this possibly happen? How can you take a crime story, set in Scotland's capital and filmed in Scotland's capital, then people it almost entirely with English actors?

I got my answer yesterday in the bookshop at the airport, where Kate Atkinson's Case Histories sat on the front table, with Jason Isaacs on the front cover, proclaiming it to be "now a BBC TV series". I turned to the back cover for a description of the story. And the first word was..? Cambridge. "Cambridge is a city where..." it began.

So that's the answer. These stories are set not in Edinburgh but in Cambridge. And they've been adapted, and cast, and prepared for shooting. Then some location scout, some twenty something Tarquin or Jacinta from the home counties who thinks Birmingham is "the North" has seen Edinburgh, remembers it as a place they used to go in their Varsity days, and has selected it as a picturesque city "somewhere in the North of England, that'll do" and off they've gone. Disgraceful, and I hope they get all the BAFTAs they deserve. (I bet they win loads. Meanwhile when does Gary Tank Commander get shown in England, eh?)

*(It has just been pointed out to me by Pete Renshaw: No Kev, you should have bought the book. Jackson Brodie is an ex-cop and Yorkshireman, now private 'tec based in Edinburgh. The plot starts with three case histories, one of which starts with the childhood of four sisters in Cambridge, one child dies. Kate Atkinson was born in York and live in Auld Reekie. I stand corrected, though does that explain the lack of Scots in most of the show?)



Stewart Lee

I like Stewart Lee. I'm a big fan of Stewart Lee, Lee. I used to like him years ago. In fact I probably liked him before you'd ever heard of him, I'm that big a fan of his. Very nostalgic for the Stewart Lee, Stew. And I've enjoyed this new series of his on BBC 2, even more than the last one. You know the BBC 2? It's a TV channel, that you watch on a TV set. You used to have them back in the olden days, TV sets. (Oh stop it, you don't sound anything like him).

My point is, this week he told a story about David Cameron and his Bullingdon Club friends at Oxford. And a lot of the aim of the story was to demonstrate the difference between 'them' and 'us'. Them being the old Etonian priveleged posh boys like Cameron and Boris, and Us being normal people like you and me, the viewer at home and our representative on earth Stewart Lee.

My question is, how much One Of Us is Stewart Lee. I mean he talks about Cameron as priveleged, and he points out how he, Stew, is middle classed and not working class. But he really does seem to suggest, and even to feel, that he comes from the same background as everyone else in the audience, everyone else at home. You and me.

Only Stewart Lee went to public school. In the British sense that is, he went to an independent school. He went to the exclusive, selective, fee-paying, priveleged by dint of the fact that your parents can afford the school fees, independent school Solihull School in Solihull in the West Midlands. That's the same school that his fellow Men Of The People Richard Hammond and Simon Mayo went to.

So all I'm saying is.. well you see what I'm saying.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Captain Clevedon - new art

I was so inspired by the script I've just written for the brand new Issue One of Captain Clevedon I couldn't resist drawing a page. Here it is, page 4 now you ask.



I'm still looking for artists to finish drawing the comic for me because, unless I get a sick day like Sunday which leaves me with unexpected unpaid time on my hands, I'll never be able to draw the whole book. Interested parties email me with links to artwork samples (don't send attachments please) and I'll send you the script to look at. I still haven't allocated pages to artists, so there's time to get in there.



Monday, 6 June 2011

Sick Day

I like to think of myself as pretty healthy. It's certainly rare for me to have what you'd call a Sick Day. Being freelance, if I call in sick, I don't get paid, which is not the reason I don't have days off, but it's an incentive to make sure I'm not tempted. So yesterday was quite a shock to the system, and a blow to the cashflow, when instead of spending the day drawing caricatures at a corporate event in Essex, I spent the whole day in bed, unable to move except for sporadic staggers to the loo to open up the sluices at both ends. Yes, I had food poisoning or a stomach bug. Could I have got it here..?



Hardly likely, but I could have I picked up the lurgi germs when I was in Belfast on Thursday and Friday doing a live masterclass and interview on BBC Northern Ireland which you might be able to see online here. (Not in the studio itself, I'm not saying I got it in the studio! PLease, I want to work for the Beeb again, their studios are spotless!) It remains a mystery I might not solve as to where exactly I ingested something poisonous. No mystery about the end result. On Saturday night, after a quiet night in watching Dr Who and the rest of the telly, doing some writing work and not drinking, I noticed feeling a bit hot (it was a humid night, but we put the fan on for the first time this summer) but was otherwise fine when I went to bed.

I then found it hard to get to sleep, my mind keeping itself awake despite my best efforts. I think my mind knew what was coming up. At 2am I got up and threw up. Not pleasant. Tried to get back to sleep, failed, didn't get any cooler or more relaxed, then at about 4am I was up again with vomiting and diarrhoea (can I just add that, every time, I made it to the loo. This was a hygienically controlled explosion from both ends). All this time I was convincing myself that I was going to be okay to go to work tomorrow. This would necessitate me setting off in the car at 8am, getting to my venue in Essex for 11.30, drawing caricatures until around 5pm, then driving home. I spent the remaining waking hours, when I should have been sleeping but simply couldn't, working out when I would get to every motorway service station and how I could hold it all in until then. When I found myself a-spewing and a-pooing again at 6am and 8am I knew that wasn't gong to happen and, pausing momentarily to marvel at the clock-watching regularity of my bowels and immune system, I phoned the client, made my apologies, spent a little longer in the loo, and returned to bed.

Where I stayed for the rest of the day. My body, having elected to keep me awake throughout the normal sleeping hours, now chose to knock me out and make me so tired I couldn't even sit up and read. It was quite a pleasant feeling of being anaesthetised, relaxing me to such a degree that I couldn't even manage to feel guilty or frustrated at my inability to work (and did I mention how many hundreds of pounds this was leaving me out of pocket?). By mid afternoon I managed to move from the bedroom to the lounge, where I then vegetated for the rest of the day, occasionally getting the energy to sit at the laptop and to read, but not a lot more. I consumed a glass of orange, a peppermint tea, a cup of weak tea and two satsumas. I am seriously hoping I lose some visible weight as a result of this diet. Today, a sleep later, I'm back to normal.

So what did I have? Food poisoning or some other stomach bug? The news is full of a ecoli outbreak in Germany, coming apparently from beansprouts, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't anything to do with that. Googling "stomach bug" on Twitter I find, anecdotally, lots of people suffering from similar symptoms. Whether this is what's going on every day of the year, or whether there's a low-level epidemic, who knows?

If it was something like a norovirus, or contamination you pick up from surfaces, where could I have possibly got that from? Saturday we ate in the cafe of Spike Island the art gallery, on Thursday I flew to Belfast returning on Friday night inbetween which times I ate in a Wetherspoons, the hotel, the Ulster Museum cafe, a small cafe, the BBC canteen, and the airport. Oh and I did a masterclass with 30 kids in a TV studio, drawing a caricature of every one of them, and shaking hands with most people in the crew. If there were any germs bouncing around in any of those places from any of those sources, I was in line to get them. Heather, by the way, wasn't ill at all.

Anyhoo, all better now, just felt like making a record of this in case it ever comes in handy. Back to work.



Saturday, 4 June 2011

I pose by flipcharts for a living

This year my Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries and art centres have gotten a bit popular and have taken me everywhere. Not literally everywhere, don't be silly, but far enough to be getting on with. Ireland, Abu Dhabi, Yorkshire, London, Swindon... it would have been more impressive to leave Abu Dhabi and Ireland to the end of the list wouldn't it? And in all of my classes I draw stuff on a flipchart. Occasionally I have the presence of mind to pose in front of a flipchart I've drawn on. I never, but never, look cool. As these recent examples demonstrate...









Tuesday, 31 May 2011

FIFA - Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

Brand new from the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, a look at the current FIFA scandal.



FIFA's Squeaky Clean Sponsors

Though it'll soon be wrapped round tomorrow's chips (in a parallel universe in my head where people still wrap chips in newsprint) the story making today's headlines is that FIFA is corrupt, that Qatar bribed other countries with brown envelopes stuffed with $40,000 dollars to win the World Cup, and that Sepp Blatter knew all about it and is a lying coverer-upperer. Since I know little and care less about football, this doesn't surprise me in the least.

What has amused me is the rather feeble means protestors seem to have at their disposal. The top of the Top Tweets when you type in FIFA right now reads "Unhappy with Fifa? Tell the Fifa sponsors: @CocaCola @Sony @McDonalds @adidasUS @Hyundai @CastrolUSA" via @GrantWahl. Tell on them to their sponsors? In what distant corner of whose deluded mind did those sponsors suddenly grow a massive conscience?



Coca Cola? An April 2004 report from a fact-finding delegation headed by New York City Council Member Hiram Monserrate contends:
“To date, there have been a total of 179 major human rights violations of Coca-Cola's workers, including nine murders." And that's just in one country.

Sony planted a virus in everyone's computers in 2005.

McDonalds? Where to start... McDonalds Legal Cases has its own Wikipedia page

Adidas made jackboots for the Nazis in the war,in the 90s they were owned by a crook, Tapie, imprisoned for match fixing, (all on Wikipedia) and they are still accused of using sweatshop labour

Hyundai's chairman was imprisoned for bribery & embezzlement in 2006, and so was his son, another suspect killed himself

Castrol are accused of misusing number plate recognition cameras in the UK for "snoop-vertising"

All of which qualifies them to be perfect bedfellows for the corrupt, exclusive and elusive FIFA, but makes none of them the person I'd run to first if I was looking for someone who'll always do the right thing and report it to the proper authorities.

Just saying.

Kev F

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