Predictions for 2011

Predictions are a wonderful thing. I've never seen one come true, and never will.

That's the principle by which I wrote my nonsense predictions for last year. Obviously none of mine came true. But, and here lies the problem, none were exactly contradicted. The opposite didn't happen. Again, that never happens. So what will happen this coming year? Before I have a guess, let's have a look at my twaddly fizzibules from this time last year:

- China will invade a bit of Russia. Pointless bare-faced greedy land grab that leads to a major world war.

Of course they didn't. What happened was we learned, via Wikileaks, all the things these countries had been saying about each other for years. Fascinating, and not what anyone predicted happening.

- UK General Election will be won by Conservatives, landslide. BNP get two seats. Labour lose all of Scotland.

Nonsense. Tories won, but in a sense they didn't. BNP didn't get any seats, a victory for me there. And Labour almost held most of Scotland.

- Simon Cowell manages to copyright another TV format from the 1970s, as he has done with New Faces & Opportunity Knocks, and makes even more money. Maybe he revives Love Thy Neighbour

He, rather, extended the success of his current show both in the UK and America.

- The new Dr Who is rubbish and everyone stops watching it

It wasn't rubbish. The viewing figures dropped from previous seasons, but that coud be to do with the time slot. The Christmas episode had higher figures than last year, possibly for the same reason.

- Britain picks a fight with a small country that doesn't deserve it and kills lots of people

Nope, didn't. I'll take credit for that.

- I don't win the lottery, I don't inherit a fortune, and nothing I create makes a surprising amount of money...

I didn't win the lottery, so 100% correct there. Ditto the fortune. Something I created did make a surprising amount of money, namely the Scottish Falsetto Socks. Not a fortune, but better than predicted. However my venue still owe me three and a half thousand pounds which I should have been paid two months ago and that means I don't know what's going to happen about playing there next year. Who saw that coming?

So, what will happen in 2011...?

(to be continued)

The Hogmanay Song by The Socks