Saturday, 29 April 2017

My hotel reviews

The kettle in this hotel room turns out to be an IQ test to wheedle out the less observant guests. I turned it on, it wouldn't boil. I went to the desk downstairs and told them it was broken. When I returned they said they'd sorted it and, indeed, in my absence, it had been boiled. So I turned it on again (double checking it was switched on at the plug), but nothing. After half an hour waiting and swearing - and googling "which is on and off?" out of O and I (I know now) I got it to work. Can you spot the hidden secret I'd missed?* #firstworldproblems #toomuchtimeinhotelrooms *Answer at foot of blog

I've just found the page on that shows all the hotel reviews I've left. Is it bad to be making myself laugh? It's the titles I've given the reviews...

“Nespresso machine? Really?” - Alnwick
“Woke up to find Trump was President - not hotel's fault” - Haydock
“Wednesday is Bike Night” - Market Rasen

“Apart from the fire alarm, the grudging free wifi, the breakfast problem, the room key thing...” - Manchester
“You can get enough of that scrambled egg” - Leeds

“Don't miss the village across the canal - and the concrete Triceratops” - Milton Keynes
“Nifty spiral staircase” - Ipswich
“We had to put a sock on the bedside lights” - Brighton
“It's a blooming windmill! (With all-night salsa downstairs)” - Lincoln
“Room 18: Bus Stop View” - Hampstead
“Two nights for £79? How do they make any money?” - Glasgow
“TV choice from the 90s, decor from the 70s. A certain decayed charm.” - Hampstead
“If you're a wimp who doesn't fancy camping at Latitude...” - Lowestoft

“How long a smell of smoke can linger” - Hampstead
“Apart from lack of BBC Four on the telly, they had it all” - Ipswich
“It'll be good when it's finished.” - Doncaster
“Thin walls, disappeared car park” - Aberyswyth
“Check out the ancient barn. Used to be a stud farm, don't you know.” - Crawley
“I got the bridal suite!” - Darlington

Comic Art Masterclasses coming up in 2017:

Kev F Sutherland, as well as writing and drawing for The Beano, Marvel, Doctor Who et al, runs Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries and art centres - email for details, and follow him on Facebook and Twitter. View the promo video here

*Answer: The grey patch on the handle is also a switch. It stays flush to the handle, whether pressed or not.

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