Eurovision itself was a Twitter-fest, and for the first time I can remember I was stone cold sober for the entire evening. Does it show? Here's how my Twitter feed looked for the night. Just a few hours later, hardly any of it makes any sense whatsoever...
Hev's getting out the pen & paper. We are about to incorrectly predict the #Eurovision voting. Again (Bet we're right about #thehump though)
Nice lighting UK, we illuminate a scuffed floor & have people dressed in black against a black background
Help! This song scares me. It's like a nightmare. And her hair is made of snakes. Make it stop!
Is this the entry from Plan 9 From Outer Space?
He can't see us, everyone flick the V's
Suddenly this song is dragged kicking and screaming into the early 1980s! He can do Stevie Wonder AND Michael jackson
The song you were thinking of was Fantasy by Earth, Wind & Fire
Look, the piano's playing itself. Honest
What's that? A kennel? A pizza oven? Or is someone gonna burst out of it?
It's a cakewalk now. This routine has it all
Steve & Sam
Russia would have a better chance of winning
#eurovision if the little old ladies popped out of eachother. #votebiscuits
#eurovision notes already tell me nothing. I appear to have written Meh seven times. (And Eek for Albania)
Think my brain has melted, I actually like the French entry
Glad France haven't cynically gone for the gay vote
The song you're thinking of is All By Myself by Eric Carmen
#Estonia #eurovision And Without You by Nilsson. And The Power Of Love.
Estonia's Gary Barlow has a killer's eyes.
Jon Pertwee Dr Who title sequence in the background? Gets my vote
#Azerbaijan #eurovision (Only joking, horrible song)
Pretty girl... but somewhere in Romania there is an empty supermarket checkout till and a line of frustrated customers.
Greece next. If Twitter doesn't break I will be ama
The other song you're thinking of is Stop Stop Stop All Your Dancing by The Hollies
Is it just me that's noticed this show is quite camp !!
The song you're thinking of is I've Got A Feeling by Black Eyed Peas
#Germany #eurovision (Another version of The 4 Chords, no?)
The 4 Chords song by Axis of Awesome http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOlDewpCfZQ Which you keep hearing in
It really is the 4 Chords for the 3rd time in a row, isn't it?
#Malta #eurovision With a touch of Umbrella-ella-ella
Her name's Calliope? What, like in Blinded By The Light? Let's hope she doesn't crash to the ground, eh pop kids?
Jedward are endearingly inept
The song you're thinking of is The Day I Met Marie by Cliff Richard. Played at 33 and a 3rd
Now trending: Cybermen, Buck Rogers, Tin Men, Starlight Express, Doggy Poo and, er, Davina McCall. If you're not watching
Busby Berkely would have positioned the camera above those dancers gyrating like ninnies on the floor
Not sure I understand my
#eurovision predictions. 10th: Bob The Builder (Spain), 9th: Tulisa & The Twats (Romania), 8th: Amy Vinohouse (It)>
7th: Nonces in Kilts (Ukraine), 6th: Donald Duck (Denmark), 5th: Claudia Winkleman (Sweden), 4th: Borat in a Boat (Turkey)
3rd Grans (Russia), 2nd Jedward (Jedward), 1st "like that riff" France. So, how wrong will I be?
(In the end my No5 prediction, Sweden, won and Jedward, France & Denmark came nowhere)
We are in fits of giggles here at Jedward dancing in background oblivious to the voting
#eurovision We are both totally sober
Scott Mills is the first person to make Baku sound like Fuck You. Well done us
Somewhere in Greece some children are tinfoiling a school stage "just in case"
The way things stand, Jedward are in danger of becoming a laughing stock
Is the Swedish judge from Finchley?
#eurovision That accent
...and those were the tweets from the Eurovision jury