Sunday, 27 May 2012

Eurovision inc Socks & Sitcom Trials

So, another Eurovision's out of the way, and we managed to squeeze in the first ever Eurovision Sitcom Contest this week. The Scottish Falsetto Socks made a guest appearance performing one of the sitcoms. Here's a video giving just a taste of the night:

Eurovision itself was a Twitter-fest, and for the first time I can remember I was stone cold sober for the entire evening. Does it show? Here's how my Twitter feed looked for the night. Just a few hours later, hardly any of it makes any sense whatsoever...

Hev's getting out the pen & paper. We are about to incorrectly predict the #Eurovision voting. Again (Bet we're right about #thehump though)

Nice lighting UK, we illuminate a scuffed floor & have people dressed in black against a black background (oh & the song's shit)

Help! This song scares me. It's like a nightmare. And her hair is made of snakes. Make it stop!

Is this the entry from Plan 9 From Outer Space?

He can't see us, everyone flick the V's

Suddenly this song is dragged kicking and screaming into the early 1980s! He can do Stevie Wonder AND Michael jackson

The song you were thinking of was Fantasy by Earth, Wind & Fire

Look, the piano's playing itself. Honest

What's that? A kennel? A pizza oven? Or is someone gonna burst out of it?

It's a cakewalk now. This routine has it all

General consensus is we'd all fuck the little one.

Russia would have a better chance of winning if the little old ladies popped out of eachother.

Didn't he used to present GMTV?  

The film you're thinking of is Superman II And it was Terence Stamp

My notes already tell me nothing. I appear to have written Meh seven times. (And Eek for Albania)

You don't get paid if you've forgotten the words love  

Think my brain has melted, I actually like the French entry  

Glad France haven't cynically gone for the gay vote

The song you're thinking of is The Boy Does Nothing by Alesha Dixon  

It's Amy Housewine!

The song you're thinking of is All By Myself by Eric Carmen And Without You by Nilsson. And The Power Of Love.
Estonia's Gary Barlow has a killer's eyes.

Or you can do a song in a key you can sing, choice is yours  

Jon Pertwee Dr Who title sequence in the background? Gets my vote (Only joking, horrible song)

Without the seventh member of the band, this just looks ridiculous  

Pretty girl... but somewhere in Romania there is an empty supermarket checkout till and a line of frustrated customers.

Hev is trying to say Alanis Morrisette and can't. She has not been drinking.  

The act you're thinking of is Sheryl Crowe Or Donald Duck
Greece next. If Twitter doesn't break I will be ama

It's Claudia Winkleman standing over an air vent  

The video you're thinking of is Hammer Horror by Kate Bush  

The song you're thinking of is If I Was A Rich Man by Topol  

The other song you're thinking of is Stop Stop Stop All Your Dancing by The Hollies  

Is it just me that's noticed this show is quite camp !!

Chord change! We have a contender  

Spain are doing The 4 Chords via (Google it)

Roman Lob. Best name of the night. Now take that hat off boy, you're indoors  

The song you're thinking of is I've Got A Feeling by Black Eyed Peas (Another version of The 4 Chords, no?)

The 4 Chords song by Axis of Awesome Which you keep hearing in tonight

It really is the 4 Chords for the 3rd time in a row, isn't it? With a touch of Umbrella-ella-ella

Her name's Calliope? What, like in Blinded By The Light? Let's hope she doesn't crash to the ground, eh pop kids?  

Oh come on lads, you could at least have dressed up  

Jedward are endearingly inept  

The song you're thinking of is The Day I Met Marie by Cliff Richard. Played at 33 and a 3rd  

First utterance of the phrase "is that a man or a woman?" of the night  

Now trending: Cybermen, Buck Rogers, Tin Men, Starlight Express, Doggy Poo and, er, Davina McCall. If you're not watching , sorry

The song you're thinking of is Fairytale by Alexander Rybak  

Busby Berkely would have positioned the camera above those dancers gyrating like ninnies on the floor  

Not sure I understand my predictions. 10th: Bob The Builder (Spain), 9th: Tulisa & The Twats (Romania), 8th: Amy Vinohouse (It)>
7th: Nonces in Kilts (Ukraine), 6th: Donald Duck (Denmark), 5th: Claudia Winkleman (Sweden), 4th: Borat in a Boat (Turkey) >
3rd Grans (Russia), 2nd Jedward (Jedward), 1st "like that riff" France. So, how wrong will I be?  

(In the end my No5 prediction, Sweden, won and Jedward, France & Denmark came nowhere)

We are in fits of giggles here at Jedward dancing in background oblivious to the voting We are both totally sober

Scott Mills is the first person to make Baku sound like Fuck You. Well done us  

Somewhere in Greece some children are tinfoiling a school stage "just in case"

The way things stand, Jedward are in danger of becoming a laughing stock

Is the Swedish judge from Finchley? That accent
If this was Englebert would be just 1 point off the lead

...and those were the tweets from the Eurovision jury

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