My Nan Volleyed A Crumpet Into The Fireplace - comics by kids

Half Term week came along and, rather impressing myself, I managed to arrange a Comic Art Masterclass on every single day, and a Literary Festival on the weekend. The Friday and the weekend crossed over into November, so you'll see their results in the next blog. Meanwhile here are the fruits of Monday to Thursday.

Monday was Putney Methodist Hall, and Tuesday was Letchworth Gallery Arts Centre. Sadly I only managed to line up one class apiece in these locations, which amounted to the best part of six hours driving each day for just two hours work. Balanced up, I must point out, by the books I sold to parents after each class (as you can see here, not too shabby). 

Swansea on Wednesday was my first full day of classes, at St Thomas in the morning and Sketty in the afternoon. And what joyous creations they came up with. The odd design of the Here Come Your Mum cover is a result of the fact that they didn't have a full size photocopier, but I was able to produce the comics on their printer, which could do double sided. The thing it couldn't do was reduce the A3 cover down, so I had to do that in two halves. Hence a cover designed so you wouldn't see the join.

Thursday was my second full day of classes, all in one location too, at Maidenhead library. Added to which they bought the most books of the week, making Maidenhead a most satisfactory day's work.

The celebrities these six groups chose to appear in my demonstration drawing were James Bond, Albert Einstein, Donald Trump, Ryan Reynolds, Jamie Smart, and Santa Claus.

My Books and where to get them:

Richard The Third - Amazon - Etsy - Barnes & Noble - Waterstones

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy - Kindle
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 

Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Paperback

Sweet Smell Of Sockcess - Putting A Show On At The Edinburgh Fringe - Amazon - ebook

Who Notes - Doctor Who Reviews - Amazon - Lulu - ebook

Space Elain - Amazon - Lulu - iBooks - Barnes & Noble 

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy - Webtoons

The Book Of Esther - Lulu  - Amazon - Webtoons

Joseph, Ruth & Other Stories - Amazon

Captain Clevedon - Amazon

Tales Of Nambygate - Amazon  

2024's Comics By Kids (NEW), 2023's Comics By Kids, 2022's Comics By Kids

Colouring Books: Hollywood Legends, Punk, Cult TV, Eurovision Vol 1, Eurovision Vol 2, Eurovision Best Of British & Irish, 1960s Pop, 1970s Pop, 1980s Pop,  1990s Pop, 2020s Pop, Bowie, Scottish Pop, Doctors Who, Royalty, Rom Coms 

Pumpkins and stuff - October's Facebook ramblings

Does everyone else’s house smell of pumpkin about now?

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Oct 2: Ed McLachlan dies. Ahh, there’s a shame. Ed McLachlan lived down the road from us when I was a teenager, in Great Glen I believe, and as well as doing the best cartoons in Punch and Private Eye for fifty years, he used to draw the Walkers crisps calendar which, also being local (did I mention I grew up in Leicestershire?) I got every Christmas.

He was funny to the end and was, I think, in the most recent Private Eye. His quality never sagged.

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Oct 2: Haven't been to a comic con as purely a punter since... god, have I done it this century? My first was 1979 at Birmingham NEC when me and my school mate Steve got to sit and have coffee with the team from 2000AD (greatest moment of my life till then). Then we went every year to the various events that became UKCAC through the 80s. Then, in 1990, I started doing the on-stage interviews at UKCAC and Glascac, at which point I think I stopped being a punter and became a slight insider. I interviewed everyone from Dave Sim to Steve Gerber on down. I even did panels, as the bloke from the humour comics, and Red Dwarf and the like. I may even been on a Marvel panel. Then in 1997 Mark & I started the National Comics Awards, which were the Saturday night event for the last two UKCACs, and led to Comics 99 the festival I ran in Bristol until 2004. Then when I returned to comic cons, in 2011 at Thought Bubble, I was behind a table with my fledgling self-published comics. Which I've been doing in earnest since 2021, the last time I 'tabled' at Thought Bubble.

So, see you all at Thought Bubble: next month. Mudda, Fadda, kindly disregard my previous moaning post.

(Post previously read:) Cor Blimey this is a phenomenal line up of events for Thought Bubble, I really wish I could be part of it. But having failed to get a table to exhibit at, I couldn't find a way of financially justifying being there.

I'm going to have to get my act together to line up schools in the week surrounding it (like I did when I last got a table there) and fund myself for a trip next year. That Comics Forum event looks like a thing to be part of. And dammit there's comic classes, but none by me!

Next year, next year. Good luck to everyone who's going, I really have big (but unaffordable) FOMO over this one.

Update: Soddit, I've bought tickets and I'm going! It'll make a change to not have to stand behind a table all weekend. So I can't make money by being there, but I don't have to miss out on what genuinely looks like the biggest comics event of the year.

(Further update: work came in so I cancelled my accommodation and can't go to TB after all)

The Socks beat Tom Allen in a comedy competition on the Battersea Barge years ago. Looks like he hasn’t forgiven us

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Today’s observation from Waterstones: the one graphic novel bookcase (next to the 3 manga cases) has 2 of its 6 shelves that aren’t even graphic novels.

Oh and, purely coincidentally I’m sure, there’s no Neil Gaiman.

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Oct 9: Kaos cancelled

Welcome to how TV works now. If a show only delivers x viewers it gets cancelled. Oh wait, isn’t that how TV always worked? Well mostly, but we got spoilt.

The first people to get spoilt were Brits. Cos our stations, like BBC, ITV and Channel 4, back in the day (1970s to 2000s) were much less commercially cut throat than the Americans. We could nurture shows with poor ratings, because we thought they were worth it. Leaving us such treasures as the poor rating first series of Fawlty Towers, Blackadder and 100s more.

In the States, by contrast, poor Nielsen ratings saw shows culled mid series. The first I was aware of as a kid was Planet of the Apes, cut dead after 14 episodes. That was how it was.

Then the next to get spoilt were cable viewers. In the 1990s HBO started making TV and they relied on subscriptions instead of adverts. So they aimed for a wealthier target market and aimed high on the quality. Their ratings started low but it was worth them sticking with it to build the business. Giving us landmarks like The Sopranos and The Simpsons. Their successors like AMC did the same, eg Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Walking Dead etc.

Then the streamers started. They began with the same model as the cable companies, and with way bigger budgets than anyone before. All on borrowed money, and all based on one promise: they would disrupt and destroy the previous TV market.

So we got a Golden Age of TV, starting about ten years ago, when shows like Orange Is the New Black and The Crown were given unlimited budgets, creative control, and series and told to to go out there and win TV.

Well, mission accomplished. TV has been won by the tech giants. We all subscribe to these streamers and have left the legacy broadcast businesses to wither on the vine. And we’re back where we were in the 1970s: get ratings or get cancelled.

Unlike the 1970s we Brits don’t get a better deal any more, and you can whistle for the next Fawlty Towers.

When you’ve named a dozen ships today, then someone comes along and asks you to name just one more.

Spotted just now from Isle of Wight ferry.

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Oct 6: Articles about plastic surgery.

An interesting article that helps explain a bit about the surge in surgery of late, which seems inexplicable to an old person of my background.

That said, I look at the warts, moles and imperfections that now pepper my face and can’t deny I’d do something about them if money were no object. But then I see similar aged men who have had a little work done, and I think they look weird.

There’s no winning. Look at TV from fifty years ago (eg Call My Bluff, currently on Bbc4 and iPlayer) and you’ll see celebs with black between their teeth, uneven teeth at that. If you see a row of even with teeth on TV from 1975 it’s either an American or false teeth that came out at night. Try telling the kids today.

Most flattering thing, from school in Killarney yesterday, a kid who can draw better than me drew me. Made me the star of their strip. Which is nice.

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Oct 15: Okay, why would Facebook be asking me to add my “tax information” so I can receive “my earnings”. Since when did I get paid money by Facebook?

Update: Guess what, I am actually owed money. From an online show I ran during lockdown in 2021. The good news: they owe me $23. The less good news: they don't pay out till they owe you $100.

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Oct 16: Fellow writers, who's a member of The Society of Authors? And if so, do you go to regular meetings?

I ask because we (Hev & I) are members of 4 different sub-groups between us, and it's interesting to see what we get out of each one. And indeed to ask what everyone else wants.

Because we've moved house in the last couple of years, we go to meeting of the Gloucestershire SoA and the Monmouthshire SoA, and occasionally still go to the Bristol SoA though they meet less often. And I join the Zoom meetings of the Comic Creators SoA group.

One group's most recent meeting was very content-full, and we just got sent the minutes with tons of useful links in based on what we discussed, including places to show our books, Arts Council grants, accessibility to events, lobbying government, and even scandalous gossip. (NB there were no links to the gossip!)

Another group does a good line in themed meetings. The last one had us bring favourite examples of Creative Non Fiction to read and discuss, and we have regular talks including a very good one from an agent, another on self-publishing with Amazon, another on international book festivals.

Another group is more chatty and informal, and very supportive of each others creative endeavours, with library talks and local book fairs being regular features. Both this and the previous group have active WhatsApp groups.

Does anyone else have a local, or sub-set, SoA group they're part of? What's yours like?

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Oct 29: Asterix's 65th Birthday

It's stunning to me that Asterix books are as readable today as they were when I discovered them as a child (and they were a surprising 15 years old by then!)

Are there any other comics that stand the test of time that well? I find Marvel comics from the early 60s very dated, verging on unreadable at times. And British comics from those days are lovely to look at, but it's hard to find the serialised stories in any collected readable form. (I know Rebellion are sorting this now, so I look forward to reading some serials from start to finish at last).

My nominations for "Readability After All This Time" would be EC horror comics (1950-54), The Spirit (1947-50) and Dudley D Watkins' Biffo The Bear and Desperate Dan (50s/60s). Any more pass the test?

(Oh, and Tintin, but I never read them as a kid so they never grew on me).

Brilliant birthday card made by Hev. She made it in the car yesterday while we were driving back from Leeds, listening to a show about David Bowie in Berlin where he said he could walk about incognito cos he wore a plaid shirt and grew a moustache. Funny where inspiration can strike.

Created by Hev Tweed on an iPhone in a moving car.

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Oct 23: Watching The Franchise, I’m enjoying imagining that Richard E Grant is actually Withnail, and this is effectively a sequel to it.

That, sadly, is the most enjoyable thing I’m finding in The Franchise which, after six months of anticipation, having heard about it regularly on the Marina Hyde podcast, has disappointed me.

She describes the Writers Room experience as being such a fun and creative thing. Unfortunately this show, after two episodes, is coming across as something created by committee, full of things that must have sounded funny at the time.

Episode one: do producers really notice if the lighting is low on a set? If it is, do they know how that’ll end up on screen? Does it actually look that dark by the way? And can you get sunburnt eyes that blind you then clear up overnight?

Just a few things I was thinking, instead of enjoying the first 25 minutes.

I shall keep watching. But I fear we have another Avenue 5 on our hands. Poor title, directionless plot, lack of a creator’s vision. And not actually funny.

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Geoff Capes cartoon in next week’s Private Eye: the grave and headstone, and some daisies being pushed up really forcefully

You can draw it, I can’t be arsed to do it and just get it rejected again. But do draw it, it’s what Geoff would have wanted.

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New season of Severance starts mid-January

Oh very clever. Announce your new season starting mid-January and you stop people cancelling their subscriptions at the start of the year.

“First new year resolution, I’m scrapping these bloody subscriptions to all these bloody streaming services!”

“But Dad, Severance / stroke / Wednesday / stroke / Stranger Things / stroke / Good Omens starts next week!”

“Er, about that new series of Good Omens..”

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Oct 29: Am I the only person who just noticed how quiet Doctor Who has got? This time last year it was all anniversaries and new episodes and new series. And the Whoniverse.

Then there was a new series in the spring, which had the highest highs and the lowest ratings.

Then… tumbleweed.

I look on the shelves and see the latest Doctor Who magazine’s cover stars are Sylvester McCoy and Patrick Troughton. It feels awfully like the start of the new Wilderness Years.

Hopefully the Xmas episode and a second series in the spring will cheer us all up again. And maybe no news is good news.

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Oct 30: Article about Donald Trump by V (formerly Eve Ensler)

I can’t talk. Not about the article, which is grand, but about V. Who had changed their name to V, I learn today, and was formerly Eve Ensler.

The reason I can’t talk is that I did the same. I shortened Kevin to Kev F, about 45 years ago when I was in sixth form and thought my new name sounded cooler. (I didn’t realise it made me sound both pretentious and more common).

But V? Someone has clearly never heard of Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s V For Vendetta. Or seen how well X formerly Twitter is working out.

I support people changing their names. But I also know a bit about branding. A single letter for a person, or a company, is just confusing. On radio, audio, podcasts, it will always need clarifying. The name will never be said without the clarifying “formerly known as”.

She wrote the Vagina Monologues, in case you were struggling to place the former name.

It was a bit of a moment. And a necessary corrective to the Clubbable Blokey atmosphere that Graham Norton sometimes descends into.

We’d already commented upon how weird it was to have only one woman on the sofa (even the band at the end were all blokes). Then Saoirse manages to get a word in when Eddie Redmayne is describing how he had to try and avoid some strangers while walking down the street.

A TV moment worth watching, and a reminder to we complacent men about how the world is for most people.

My Books and where to get them:

Richard The Third - Amazon - Etsy - Barnes & Noble - Waterstones

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy - Kindle
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 

Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Paperback

Sweet Smell Of Sockcess - Putting A Show On At The Edinburgh Fringe - Amazon - ebook

Who Notes - Doctor Who Reviews - Amazon - Lulu - ebook

Space Elain - Amazon - Lulu - iBooks - Barnes & Noble 

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy - Webtoons

The Book Of Esther - Lulu  - Amazon - Webtoons

Joseph, Ruth & Other Stories - Amazon

Captain Clevedon - Amazon

Tales Of Nambygate - Amazon  

2024's Comics By Kids (NEW), 2023's Comics By Kids, 2022's Comics By Kids

Colouring Books: Hollywood Legends, Punk, Cult TV, Eurovision Vol 1, Eurovision Vol 2, Eurovision Best Of British & Irish, 1960s Pop, 1970s Pop, 1980s Pop,  1990s Pop, 2020s Pop, Bowie, Scottish Pop, Doctors Who, Royalty, Rom Coms 

I Accidentally Nuked Your House - comics by kids

 These Comic Art Masterclasses saw me visiting Abergavenny, Leeds, and Nottinghamshire, working with kids in schools and libraries.

The Years 3s and 4s of Cantref Primary in Abergavenny came up with a couple smashing titles. I was particularly pleased with how my Jokers came out.

Allerton High in Leeds is a school I must have been to four times now. Every time a treat. The Drake title was typical of the sort of thing teenagers find funny. It seems to be a meme based on rumours about the totally innocent pop star Drake. I'm sure we came out with worse in our day.

West Bridgford & Beeston libraries in Nottinghamshire were another couple of good ones. Sometimes there's nothing more to say other than to show you the comics. 

The celebrities these six groups selected to appear in my demonstration strip were Taylor Swift (twice), Tom Holland, Cristiano Ronaldo, David Attenborough and - and this doesn't happen often - Bensen Boon*, who was a totally invented name that a kid came up with. He may have been thinking of someone real (possibly Jensen Button?) but got the name wrong. However the rest of the group found it the funniest suggestion of the four (we always choose from a shortlist of four), so the imaginary Bensen Boon it was that I drew in all his glory.

*UPDATE: As I re-read this column at the end of the year, I realise I have, in the intervening months, learned who Benson Boone is. He's a totally real pop star who had the biggest selling single of the past year with Beautiful Things, and I'd not heard of him. Mea culpa.

My Books and where to get them:

Richard The Third - Amazon - Etsy - Barnes & Noble - Waterstones

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy - Kindle
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 

Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Paperback

Sweet Smell Of Sockcess - Putting A Show On At The Edinburgh Fringe - Amazon - ebook

Who Notes - Doctor Who Reviews - Amazon - Lulu - ebook

Space Elain - Amazon - Lulu - iBooks - Barnes & Noble 

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy - Webtoons

The Book Of Esther - Lulu  - Amazon - Webtoons

Joseph, Ruth & Other Stories - Amazon

Captain Clevedon - Amazon

Tales Of Nambygate - Amazon  

2024's Comics By Kids (NEW), 2023's Comics By Kids, 2022's Comics By Kids

Colouring Books: Hollywood Legends, Punk, Cult TV, Eurovision Vol 1, Eurovision Vol 2, Eurovision Best Of British & Irish, 1960s Pop, 1970s Pop, 1980s Pop,  1990s Pop, 2020s Pop, Bowie, Scottish Pop, Doctors Who, Royalty, Rom Coms 

All For One - another new potential project

Just as I was getting stuck in to colouring Richard The Third, and wondering what the news was from the projects I've been working on through my agent Emily, three things come in at once.

One: my pitch for Space Elain / Lois In Space. Emily has notes, and some very useful examples of pitch documents that I could learn from. So I'm about to get stuck into doing that.

Two: the thing I demo'd for, with science and a duck and a cat (the science was their idea, the cat was mine), didn't get the go ahead. I confess I didn't have too much faith in it myself.

Three: the period drama I auditioned / did spec art samples for. Apparently there's now a shortlist of contenders, which I have made it on to. Which is nice. But, in order to help them make their choice, they wanted some new samples, on a different period drama. It's one that I had, unbidden, done some character drawings for at the same time as my spec samples. So, this time, I've been given a script for two pages of the story, and got stuck into those on Monday morning. You can see a taste of the results above.

Though I'd prefer to draw it in the looser, quicker, cartoony style of Richard The Third and Romeo and Juliet, the samples I sent, and the script they sent, both leant towards a more action cartoony style. So it it that I've combined the technique of Midsummer Night's Dream Team (pencils printed out onto Bristol Board and inked with a brush pen), followed by over elaborate colouring which takes too long to do and which I don't particularly enjoy.

I've very pleased with my samples, which went off to Emily Tuesday lunchtime, and dread getting the job if they want it all coloured to that degree. What a damn fool. I don't, of course, even know how much they'd be paying. Let's worry about that if it ever comes to it, eh?

My Books and where to get them:

Richard The Third - Amazon - Etsy - Barnes & Noble - Waterstones

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy - Kindle
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 

Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Paperback

Sweet Smell Of Sockcess - Putting A Show On At The Edinburgh Fringe - Amazon - ebook

Who Notes - Doctor Who Reviews - Amazon - Lulu - ebook

Space Elain - Amazon - Lulu - iBooks - Barnes & Noble 

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy - Webtoons

The Book Of Esther - Lulu  - Amazon - Webtoons

Joseph, Ruth & Other Stories - Amazon

Captain Clevedon - Amazon

Tales Of Nambygate - Amazon  

2024's Comics By Kids (NEW), 2023's Comics By Kids, 2022's Comics By Kids

Colouring Books: Hollywood Legends, Punk, Cult TV, Eurovision Vol 1, Eurovision Vol 2, Eurovision Best Of British & Irish, 1960s Pop, 1970s Pop, 1980s Pop,  1990s Pop, 2020s Pop, Bowie, Scottish Pop, Doctors Who, Royalty, Rom Coms