Am I being really dense? There's a cartoon in this week's Private Eye and I don't get it. He's got a pencil behind his ear and three ornate columns in his pocket. No caption. Am I going to feel really stupid when someone explains this to me?
Stephen White Nope...got me.
Kevin Lyons Is a portrait of a 'columnist'?
Chris Okse Oxenbury Load of ariss
Jamie Neil Doric, Ionic & Corinthian...still nope!
Edward Knight Unless they're chameleon, comedian, Corinthian and he's a caricaturist, hence the pencil. ;)
Kev Sutherland Brilliant! I used to use that line (from Bowie's Bewlay Brothers, fact fans) in my stand up routine. I was the only person who ever got it.
Kev Sutherland I thought it might be a 'columnist' gag, but then it doesn't look like what you imagine a columnist to look like. Looks more like a designer to me.
Andrew Ness I was thinking some sort of workman, with the pencil for his estimates?
Paul Savage It's that he's got a column in his pocket an he's pleased to see you... (I got nothing)
John B Wilkinson Architect, deciding which order to use? Not terribly amusing yet.
Tim Bateman Architect was my thought.
Kate Lennard Funny, I was staring at that for ages this morning thinking the same thing. But the 'Columnist' solution makes me really like it. Maybe they forgot to put in the title?
Johnny Nigma He looks like a fine upstanding pillar of the community who has now decided to pocket it away! :-O
Brian Damage Maybe it's an ad? http://www.instructables.com/id/Ear-Pencil-Holder/
Alistair Robb Private Eye hasn't had anything approaching humorous in decades.
Guy Venables now now
David Leach I beg to differ. They published one of my gags, what the great Will Dawbarn drew.
Dave Kendall I prefer Cow Tools. (Attached Gary Larson cartoon)
David Leach Saul Steinberg would smile at that one.
Will Dawbarn I prefer single column cartoons.
Ewen Macintosh I want to know if someone works it out so I'm just commenting for the notifications
Billy Rumbold ^^^^ I'm with him
Mat Troy Me too
Richmond Clements Ditto.
Simon Thorp If you were doing a "columnist" joke, surely he'd be carving one out of a big block of marble and someone would be saying "I saw your latest column" or something. I've not really thought about it very hard.
Maria Burns These may be his other pencils in his pocket. Still no why. Is there a context ?
Kev Sutherland Thanks to Guy for actually asking Nathan Ariss himself. Waiting with bated breath now. (This referred to someone tagging Nathan Ariss in the post, though that tag subsequently disappeared)
Irene Shettle Having read through all the postings to this point I was wondering if anybody had considered asking. (Embarassing though?)
Stephen White Me too...I like to think I'm pretty good at getting this sort of thing, but I'm stumped.
Melanie Gibson I don't get it. Thought architect, then got confused...
Andrew Dodd Technical drawing, technical pencil, architects
Wes Packer Are they just really fancy pen tops?
Nick Xylas I'm wondering whether there *is* a caption, but it somehow didn't get printed.
Barry Hutchison Beats me, but I want to know!
Jim Scott Doric, Ionic and Corinthian.
Will Dawbarn Oh, the iony.
Maria Burns But why?
Jim Scott He's a Third Columnist.
Rik Edwards Hislop signalling he wants more obscure jokes?
Richard Fitchett I looked at it and I looked at it and...
Will Averill Columnist? Maybe?
Wes Packer Three columns in his pocket, is he a Fourth Columnist, maybe?
Will Averill OOoooo...I like it. Like "I'm a columnist!". It's a dumb joke tho
Red Redmond Columnist.
Russ Swan If he was in a top hat and smoking a cigar I'd think he must be a capitalist, but he isn't. No help from me, then
Wendy Wason Hmmm. Columnist. 4th estate... tradesman... hmmm
Gordon Rennie Architectural pens - set of three: https://www.amazon.com/Architectural-Column.../dp/B010E46RSK
Stephen White So...it's an anti-ad?!
Simon Spencer Can I be the first to offer Nathan Ariss a hug if he's unfortunate enough to click on his tag? Seriously - this is like clicking on yourself on Goodreads
Tim Read Aren't the columns in his pocket the ends of 3 other pencils which are thus more ornate. Given he has a plain pencil behind his ear, it suggests that this is a simple cartoon. Well, that's my solution :-)
Gordon Rennie Yeah, that's kind of my interpretation. The three unused ornate pens are there for poseur display, and it's the plain pencil behind his ear that actually has a function.
Ade Brown We've got a right one 'ere.
Is the pencil shaped like a fourth column ?
Is it something about how he's got room in his pocket but prefers to keep the working pen out in the cold?
Is it an HB pencil?
David Bradley Is it a self portrait?
Stephen White It's very obscure, and downright impossible if you haven't seen them, but after looking at Gordon's link, it would appear that he is choosing a simple pencil over the fancy pens.
André Vincent Is it because if he was an architect and he was to close one eye and lift up his pencil, a thing those clever people do, he would know which column to put there???
Ade Brown As the old proverb goes: the pencil is mightier than the c-word.
Nick Miller Write to Ian Hislop and ask him for an explaination. Don't forget to address him as 'sir', as in "Dear Sir Ian".
Mike Phillips Ad for Hot Pocket Column Heaters: https://www.thermofisher.com/order/catalog/product/92016
Graham Exton There's a Seinfeld episode about this type of thing.
Adam Morris You've caused a 'stir', Nathan Ariss
Louise Fairbairn Looks like they forgot to print the punchline..
Edith Moss Aren't there three 'pillars of democracy'? Something to do with someone having them all in their pocket? :/
Steve Bright Who's for a pillar fight...?
Kev Sutherland I really didn't think I'd trigger such debate, but delighted to find I'm not as dense as I thought. So, most likely option is that a) Nathan's cartoon is riffing on a popular design for pencil tops, which do exist though none of us has ever seen them. Or b) it's a joke about the guy being a columnist. Other brilliant theories, like Andre's architect, and Edith's pillars of democracy, seem no less likely. The mystery continues...
Wait, Gordon's link was pens, not pencils. So that still doesn't work.
Stephen White If I were the artist, I would never tell. Not now anyway!
Andrew Coupe As the cartoon is in the 'Nooks and Corners' section, which is about architecture, I think the joke is that the gentleman depicted is an architectural columnist.
Glenn B Fleming I think the clue is in the signature...
Stuart Hume The three columns seem to be specifically Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian, respectively. The next order would be Composite, which is a type of pencil. Composite pencils were used throughout Europe but not England - until we ran out of graphite.
I'm not sure I've ever tendered a more tenuous answer to anything than this, but maybe someone here knows about Greek architectural orders and why/if they might be relevant.
Davey Jones This thread is the most chilling thing I've ever seen on the internet, and I follow Donald Trump on Twitter.
John Jackson i dont get it either
Ian Williams I have often been baffled by Private Eye cartoons in recent times. I thought it was just me. "Here's one for the teenagers- George Arliss - 'Rover, woof woof!'" (Tony Hancock with an impression that was decades out of date when he was doing it. He died in 1968.)😜
Kev Sutherland Oh, Andrew's hit on something - the cartoon IS at the foot of the Nooks & Corners column. So it's a drawing of an architectural columnist! Hooray! Solved it!. *Feels great wave of disappointment*
Eddy Brimson Not sure but Silky must be pleased
Tony Husband The three pillars of wisdom ?
John Elson It's hilarious isn't it......?
Hazel Humphreys I spent ten minutes staring at this cartoon. My best guess was that it was depicting an architect. But if that's the meaning it makes Doonesbury or Fred Bassett look funny in comparison
Andrew Birch It's a delightful visual joke.
Adam Acidophilus Is his name Collum? And is that a name?
Sally Ann Hamilton Most entertaining watching the pure bewilderment caused 😂
Then - at long last, on August 15th, this comment came in:
Nathan Ariss Thanks for the comments and I enjoyed reading them all.
Kev Sutherland Hello Nathan! The most perfect conclusion to this thread. And please put us out of our misery. Was it an architectural columnist?
Ewen Macintosh Was anyone close? 😉
At time of writing, Nathan hasn't explained the gag. Thanks everyone for joining in the guessing game.
Kev F Sutherland, as well as writing and drawing for The Beano, Marvel, Doctor Who et al, runs Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries and art centres - email for details, and follow him on Facebook and Twitter. View the promo video
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