Tuesday, 8 November 2022

Most terrifying sight - account closed

This is the most terrifying sight a self-publisher on Amazon can wake up to, and I just woke up to it. My account has been closed, and I can't access my bookshelf, my orders, anything.

Ironically, this month of November was turning into my most successful month for ages. As of yesterday I'd sold 32 books already in just 7 days (comparing amazingly well to October's total of just 60 books in a month, I was up from 2 a day to 5 a day). That has now stopped dead, which is dreadful news and a real gut punch.

The problem seems to be one book and one book alone: 2020s Pop Star Colouring Book.


The bulk of this book started life as "Pop Star Colouring Book", the second of the colouring books I produced at the end of 2021, following the 1970s book and before the 1990s. As the year rolled on I've ended up making about 15 such books, which have sold pretty well. By far the best seller is the Eurovision book, of which there are two volumes. 

Then in July 2022, the Kindle Content Review team blocked this book (whose full listing title was: Pop Star Colouring Book: Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Dua Lipa, Ed Sheeran, 24 top artists to color (Pop Star Colouring Books)/ B09HG6HR73) saying that "Metadata that violates our guidelines may include... Unauthorized references to a trademarked brand, term, or phrases...Unauthorized usage of a trademarked art, image, logo or monogram" 

I appealed, but they wouldn't unblock the book. So I let it lie. Then, in October, I thought I would try and repackage the content from that book, add new images, and publish a new book called 2020s Pop Star Colouring Book.


I uploaded this new book, with its new cover (above) on 30th October and, the very next day, it was Blocked. 

As in July, the email from Kindle suggested I'd used trademarked brands or content. I exchanged a few emails asking what I needed to change, because, as always, the books comprise all original images drawn by me, from photos of pop stars. 

After a couple of emails they finally mentioned that it was the band "BTS" that was a problem. So I showed them a new version of the cover with BTS removed, and offered to change the content accordingly. 

They said "Since we're unable to move the book into an editable status, If you want to resubmit this book it needs to be submitted as a new entirely book and go trough the standard review process." 

So I created a brand new cover, and additional new content including the images of Adele and Olivia Rogdrigo you can see on the new cover up top. I uploaded it on November 5th and it went into In Review, as per the screen grab.

Then this morning, Tues Nov 8th, I wake up to "This account has been closed" which is terrifying.

I have appealed, and await further notice.

UPDATE: At about 6pm, Tues Nov 8th, came the reply:

After reviewing your response, we have reevaluated the Content Guideline violations related to the titles in your account.

We found that you have uploaded material through your account for which you do not have the necessary rights.

As a result, we are upholding our previous decision to terminate your KDP account and remove all your titles from Amazon.

So, we move on to the next stage of life which is Saying Goodbye To The Colouring Books. (Continued in next blog)

PS: The place NOT to go for sympathy and support when your account gets closed is a Facebook group called Amazon KDP Books - Kindle Direct Publishing whose moderators are the most nan-splainy bunch you've ever met. As soon as they realised the nature of my Pop Star Colouring Books, they were all over me like ants for breaking copyright rules (typical comment: "Most likely, you didn't own the rights to the images in your coloring book. Even if you draw it, if it's based of a copyrighted image, it's still plagiarism." 

One moderator (and the respondents do seem to be mostly moderators) posted me a link to the Copyright Law of the US Copyright Office (many 1000s of pages thick). When I jokes about this being a bit long, she added: "It behooves you to take the time to read what is covered by copyright!" They like their exclamation marks on the KDP Group. 

The same moderator is fond of her capital letters: "self-promotion is not allowed. READ our RULES."

One guy posted "help me mom" comparing me, sarcastically, to another colouring book publisher who'd been taken down for publishing a Baby Shark book. I mean, he may be right, and I may well deserve to be cancelled. But the feeling of kicking a man when he's down pervades the group, and can be found in other comments they've left on other peoples posts. I will be leaving the group and sticking with 20Booksto50K and the new one I've found, Wide For The Win (perfect for people who can't, or don't want to, use Amazon KDP)

PPS: The denizens of "Amazon KDP" group may be right, and I may have brought this upon myself by making colouring books based on other peoples images, in which case I shall have to happily accept that.

What's less easy to accept is some of their attitude. Check out this exchange, when I replied to someone else's totally separate thread about acquiring an agent:


If it's too small to read, it goes:

Me: I try getting an agent, every few years or so. It used to be fun collecting rejection letters. Now rejection emails are a lot less satisfying. To be honest, I remain mystified as to how anyone gets an agent, and I've been a published writer and artist (in comic books and magazines) for over thirty years!

Trevor: maybe it takes a quality product? I think I remember that you had an issue with plagiarism? Agents only get paid when they sell a book. If you produce a book that they can’t sell, of course they won’t represent you. Why should they?

Me: Ha ha. The colouring books (of which you speak) are a different matter. My graphic novels are nothing to do with those. But thanks for taking the opportunity for an unwarranted back-handed insult. They always brighten up an afternoon.

Trevor: oh. That wasn’t meant to be backhanded. It was flat out insult. Sorry. Once a person engages in plagiarism, I have zero respect for anything they create. Everything is tainted.

That's a 'moderator'. Anyway, as I say, onwards and upwards.

Update: After another, different, moderator had chosen a different thread to choose to insult me on, I replied saying I'd had about enough of being called a thief. Sadly I didn't have time to screengrab that. When next I looked, I'd been ejected from the group. The Amazon doesn't fall far from the tree, eh?





(Kev F's graphic novels)


Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 
Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - tbc
Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy (signed)

Eurovision Colouring Vol 1 - Amazon -  Lulu £10.94 - Etsy £6.99
Eurovision Colouring Vol 2 - Amazon £15.32 - Lulu £10.72 - Etsy £6.99
Eurovision Colouring Best Of British - Amazon
Doctor Who Colouring - Amazon £11.84 - Lulu £9.98 - Etsy £6.99
Punk Colouring - Amazon £15.61 - Lulu £10.98 - Etsy £6.99
70s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon £10.98 - Lulu £10.98 - Etsy £6.99
60s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon £12.69 - Lulu £10.98 - Etsy £6.99






Wednesday, 2 November 2022

Writing Book 2 - with NaNoWriMo

 


Having completed a second draft of Murder At Her Majesty's, the first and hopefully hardest to write of my Murder Mystery series that I've embarked upon (it stands, frustratingly, at 49,225 words and now needs to settle for a bit before I can go back for a third draft and get it right), I've now started on a second.

And this time, since I've started in November, I've decided to join NaNoWriMo and see if that "write a book in a month" ethos helps me. So far the useless metrics on screen, see above, are very helpful.

Having started on Tuesday Nov 1st with 1000 words of plotline written, by 8pm I'd made that up to 3195 words.

It's Weds Nov 2 at 8pm and I'm up to 8017 words, which NaNoWriMo helpfully tells me is a rate of 4008 words a day. At this rate it says I'll be done by November 12th. Which is not exactly right, because that's their target of 50,000 words. And, though I'd have been happy to get the last book up to the 50k mark, my true target has always been 70,000 words, and that's what I'd really like to achieve for this one.


Book two is called Dead Man's Jest, by the way, and is the murder mystery featuring comedians. It's one of three plots that I wrote, in a sitting, back in September, and it's proving, on the first day at least, easier to write than its predecessor.

That said, I seem to remember the first 20,000 words of the last one being way easier to write than the subsequent 28,000. My problem is having written a plot that really didn't extend to a full book, so having to go back in and insert subplots. I think this time I've started off on a better footing, though I did find myself making up two new subplots today.

Onwards and upwards.


UPDATE Nov 29: Approaching the end of the month you can see, from the NaNoWriMo graphs above, that my early promise didn't continue through the month, and I'm currently standing on 36,474 words, which the algorithm suggests would see me finish (ie reach 50,000 words) by Dec 10th. 

A gap of nearly a fortnight is largely to blame here, because I had a long run of schools, and at the same time had the big blow of losing my Amazon KDP account which knocked the wind out of my sails and threw my confidence for a bit. But I've explored going "Wide For The Win" so we'll see what happens when I actually get the damn books finished. (Two on the boil, neither satisfactorily complete yet).


UPDATE Nov 30th, we end the month on 41,439 words. Not bad. Getting there.

Dead Man’s Jest - A Lady Lucy In Theatreland Mystery


Tues Nov 1 5pm (1000 words is the plot outline) 5.50pm 1892 words 8pm 3195 words

Weds Nov 2 8pm 8107 words

Thurs Nov 3 6pm 12,231 words 8pm 12,712

Fri Nov 4 2.30pm 16,263 5.40pm 18,109

Tues Nov 8 6pm 19,172

Thurs Nov 10 6pm, 20,376 8pm 21,170

Fri Nov 11 8pm 23,108

Weds Nov 23 (first look in 12 days) 5.30pm 23,952

Thu Nov 24 12pm 24,9214.30pm 27,033 8pm 27,814

Fri Nov 25 12pm 28,250  6pm 30,932

Mon Nov 28 8pm 32,492

Tues Nov 29 (midday, Robins & Day) 35,041 6pm 36,624

Weds Nov 30 lunch 37,280 5.15pm 40,019 8.15pm 41,439


Dec 5 42,160

Dec 6 6pm 46,674 8pm 47,200

Dec 7 5.30pm 50,344

Dec 8 4.30 51,734 6pm 52,255 8pm 53,907

Tues Dec 13 8pm 55,675

Tues Dec 20 5pm 56,218



Monday, 31 October 2022

TikTok boosts book sales


Here's how well the books, mostly colouring books, have been doing on Amazon this month. Hardly the millions you make from crime fiction (and, yes, I've nearly finished the second draft of that first book), but a pleasant little sideline. 

And, slightly in the shadow of the Eurovision book that continues to be my best seller, we see the Doctors Who colouring book, which has managed 6 sales this month, all in the last week, thanks I'm sure to my TikTok video about Power Of The Doctor, which has been viewed 86,000 in a week.

I think Eurovision volume 2's sales might start to pick up, now that I've lowered its price from £6.99 to the same £6.50 as its companion book. Let's see. Meanwhile, October's figures look like this:


It's a year since I started the colouring book experiment, and it's not been a waste of time by any means. Added to these sales, are my taking at comic festivals. This past weekend at Nottingham Comic Con I took around £200 in book sales. And, stupidly, failed to make a note of how many I sold of each title. Though I can say that the biggest sellers were my graphic novels Findlay Macbeth, Prince Of Denmark Street, and Midsummer Nights Dream Team which each sold about a dozen copies each (in contrast to their popularity on Amazon). 

Update: I've ended the month on 65 sales, since writing this post, with Oct 31st having a record breaking 11 sales in one day!

My sales on Etsy don't quite compare. In October I sold 3 each of the two Eurovision books. This year to date that's 36 Eurovisions, 12 Eurovision vol 2s, 2 Bowies, 1 MNDT, 2 each of MNDT & PODS, and one Punk.

Now, on with that damn crime novel!

Friday, 28 October 2022

Lewewewewende - comics by kids


Half term saw a few visits to libraries with my classes. These comics were made with kids in Caerphilly, Basingstoke and North Watford.

St Martins College in Caerphilly was essentially the end of my week long trip to the North and the Lakes. I got back from Windermere on Sunday night and was back in a school in South Wales the next morning. After which my seven day stint of classes and comics-flogging ended.

Basingstoke & Deane council arranged a novel venue for these classes, in Dicetower Gaming Cafe. Basically a pub with board games, the morning session went smoothly, but the afternoon session had to compete with a few distractions, including nerdy board games and bleeping nudge gambler machines. All good fun. The Lewewewende title was a result of a kid scribbling something totally illegibile, and me having a guess at what it might be. That often leads to the most popular choice. But, the title, was undoubtedly the result of a child's inability to spell the word Butt.

North Watford Library organised two smashing sellout groups, continuing the legend that I am popular in Hertfordshire's Libraries, where they've been having me in regularly for at least the last decade. 

The celebrities these six groups chose to star in my demonstrations strip were Elvis Presley, Ryan Reynolds, Cardi B, Dezzy (due to a hilarious misunderstanding everyone, including me, thought he was naming an obscure Irish act no-one else had heard of, so it got voted for. Turns out the kid's name was Desi, he'd been suggesting himself), George Washington, and Dwayne The Rock Johnson (this year's most popular name, I think).

Monday, 24 October 2022

Power Of The Doctor review


Ooh ooh did you see the telly last night? They put on a bit of fan fiction! It was called Power Of The Doctor and it was like Doctor Who but (and this is why the BBC is so great) they'd let a normal person write it. You know, not a proper trained writer or any of that nonsense.

So it had all the stuff off of Doctor Who, I mean bits like you'd seen in actual episodes before (like the Tardis having "Bad Wolf" or "hahaha" written all over it and being turned into a Paradox machine or summat) and old companions coming back (like in School Reunion) and there being two boxes that the Doctor gets trapped in one of by The Master (like when Bernard Cribbins done him in that time) and it being called Something "Of The Doctor" like Steven Moffat did three too many times. But instead of everything have a "point" like when that Russell Davies done it, or being "clever" like when it was Moffat, this time the things just happened, one after the other, without any sort of "satisfying reason" getting in the way.

The best thing was it had all old people in it. See that's the problem with your mainstream elite Doctor Who, written by professionals and all, they'd never include a handful of actors who used to be in the programme 40 years ago without bothering to explain who any of them were, or give them any interesting dialogue. But that's the joy of Fan Fiction. You can just put the old people in, and all the viewers who were kids 40 years ago will get on Facebook the next day and rave about how good it was.

Like I'm doing. I mean, obviously every line of dialogue was hopelessly on the nose; every cameo appearance makes that 50th anniversary DVD extra about the 5-and-a-half Doctors look like Shakespeare; and Fridge Logic had you going "sorry, he cloned a broken half-Cyberman including his smashed up suit? Huh?" and "where's that Rogue Dalek come from?" and "they've hidden guns and parachutes and someone's old costume under the floorboards of that one room in UNIT in expectation of this very moment?" every 2 or 3 minutes.

But as Cargo Cult fan fiction amateur first-draft attempts at doing something that was like Doctor Who but 'a bit off', this was the best one he's done since all those Christmas episodes with Daleks which were so good they didn't even show them at Christmas.

I'd love to find out what someone under the age of 50 thought of it. But sadly I'm on Facebook, so I may never know.

If you loved Dimensions In Time, you'll love Power Of The Doctor!



My Books and where to get them:

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 
Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - tbc
Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy (signed)

Eurovision Colouring Vol 1 - Amazon -  Lulu £10.94 - Etsy £6.99
Eurovision Colouring Vol 2 - Amazon £15.32 - Lulu £10.72 - Etsy £6.99
Eurovision Colouring Best Of British - Amazon
Doctor Who Colouring - Amazon £11.84 - Lulu £9.98 - Etsy £6.99
Punk Colouring - Amazon £15.61 - Lulu £10.98 - Etsy £6.99
70s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon £10.98 - Lulu £10.98 - Etsy £6.99
60s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon £12.69 - Lulu £10.98 - Etsy £6.99

Sunday, 16 October 2022

OMG Stop Dying Peppa Pig - more comics by kids


 This week culminated in the Lakes Comic Festival, and saw me line up a very successful four-day run of schools. Of course a rudimentary glance at the map of the north of England might have led me to arrange them in a slightly better order, but that would have been a bit too much for me. So it was that my trajectory went Nelson in Lancs to York to Manchester to Leeds to Bowness On Windermere, which if you draw a line between the points makes it look like I'm trying to scribble the place out.


Marsden Heights is in Nelson in Lancashire and their year 9s gave me the excuse for one of my favourite front covers in a while. The second title continues a bizarre "dad went to get milk" meme that has now appeared on at least four covers this term. No, me neither.


St Georges Primary in York's year 6 continued the meme nonsense with this Shrek title, then the year 4s did themselves justice with a bottom themed title.


Old Trafford Community Academy came up with a couple of nifty titles, though they did sadly set off a chain of Peppa Pig titles which, when they start, are hard to stop.


Allerton High in Leeds kept the Peppa Pig theme going, for good or ill, and I must admit they're fun end results.

The celebrities these eight groups chose to appear in my demonstration strip were Cristiano Ronaldo (three times), Zendaya, Jeff Bezos, Billie Eilish, Barack Obama, and Michael Jackson.

Saturday, 8 October 2022

Dad Where Is The Milk Of Sins? - comics by kids


For the first time since August, I have a clutch of comics produce by kids in my Comic Art Masterclasses. September is often a quiet month for classes, this was particularly so.


Port Talbot Library was a fun pair of classes, with kids shipped over from nearby primary schools. They came up with some novel, if surprisingly long, titles.


It was, amazingly, the first time I'd ever been into Leicester Central Library, given how long I lived there and how often I go back. That's not strictly true. I went into the old library, and indeed that was where I first showed up when I arrived in town on Thursday morning. But the Central Library has since moved (about a dozen years ago) to the old Municipal Library, and that was where I did my classes. That's an interesting story Kev, tell us more of those. They came up with not only my favourite titles ofthe week, but also the most original suggestion of celebrity for the demo strip (you'll see them shown on the cover as "star guest EB White".


Cowes Enterprise College on the Isle Of Wight was a day of class organised by the IOW Literary Festival, with whom I was delighted to be working, after some years away. I'd like to do more there in the future if my schedule would allow. Year 9 and 10, sadly, didn't come up with the most inspiring titles, but the classes were fun.

The celebrities these six groups chose to appear in my demonstrations strip were Millie Bobby Brown, Drake, EB White (author of Charlotte's Webb and Stuart Little, who we were all surprised to find was male and American), Tom Holland, and Ryan Reynolds (twice, selected by both Isle Of Wight classes).

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