Book sales - slight improvement, and a puzzle

Who are swestbooks, and how are they selling my book on Amazon? I asked them, and the very next day this book (Eurovision Volume 2) suddenly became unavailable on Amazon. Such is the mysterious world of selling things online. Eurovision volumes one and two are now unavailable on Amazon - you can get them here on Etsy. However their translated versions are out there, as you'll see below.

For sales made a slight improvement this month...

It's not a King's ransom, or indeed anywhere near what my books were doing a year ago, but I have made £52.26 from Lulu for books sold via Amazon (and, other places) in May. This compares with:

April just £8.56, March £38.57, Feb £35.25, and Jan £26.84.

Here's how the sales break down:

Eurovision Spanish Edition - 12 copies:  4 (UK) - £5.25 + 1 (US) - 89p + 2 (Italian) - £2.53 + 5 (Germany) £6.34 

Eurovision French Edition - 7 copies (via Hachette) - £10.81

Eurovision Swedish Edition - 4 copies: 1 (Australia) - £1.45 + 1 (US) - £1.01 + 2 (Germany) £2.90

Punk - 3 (US) - £2.76

Midsummers Nights Dream Team - 2 (Germany) - £2.93

Eurovision Best Of British - 2 (UK) - £2.88

Doctor Who - 2 (UK) - £2.55

Rom Com - 2 (US) - £2.02

80s Superstars  - 1 (UK) - £1.54

2020s Pop - 1 (Italy) - £1.48

Royalty - 1 (German) - £1.48

Findlay Macbeth - 1 (Aus) - £1.47

80s Pop - 1(UK) - £1.45

Shakespeare Omnibus - 1 (UK)  - 54p

So, no sales for the English language versions of the Eurovision books, or for the German or Italian versions - despite sales coming from Germany and Italy! Madness. Over on Etsy, it looks like this:

Etsy sales April 2023 = £171.05

Eurovision Volume 1 - 10 copies - £90.87

Eurovision Volume 2 - 6 copies - £41.94

Punk - 3 copies £20.97

Eurovision 2 digital - 1 - £0.99

Tales From The Bible - 1 - £10.99

Midsummer Nights Dream Team - 1 £5.99

Most profitable side-hustle at the moment is flogging stuff on eBay. This £259 worth from the last 3 months includes two of my childhood Action Men, that went for £23 and £46 each, and also...

9 x Punch mags 1998-91 - £21

6 x Fringe programmes - £5.50 (cost more to post than I'd been paid, even inc postage)

4 x Fringe programmes - £8 (got stolen and replaced with a lump of wood)

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - £5.99

James Bond Aston Martin - £3.99

Batmobile - £8

... and sundry other magazine bundles for around a fiver each.

NB You can't sell old NMEs from the 2000s, why do you even try?

Update: There's a lot of this going on. I've found my books being sold by lots of people. Then this just came into my in-tray:

My Books and where to get them:

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 

Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy 

Eurovision Colouring Vol 1 - Amazon -  Lulu  - Etsy 
Eurovision Colouring Vol 2 - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

Eurovision French edition - édition en français

Eurovision Spanish edition - Libro para colorear

Eurovision German edition - Popstar Malbuch

Eurovision Italian edition - il libro da colorare 

Eurovision Swedish edition - Popstjärna Målarbok

Eurovision Colouring Best Of British - Amazon

Doctor Who Colouring - Amazon - Lulu  - Etsy 
Punk Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

60s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 
70s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

80s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

80s Superstars - Amazon

90s Pop Star Colouring - Lulu - Etsy

2020s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

Bowie Colouring - Amazon

Scottish Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

Rom Com Colouring - Amazon

Royalty Colouring - Lulu

Christmas Movies Colouring - Amazon

NB: Etsy editions are signed and posted by me, and generally cheaper 

How Grandad Took On The British Army - comics by kids

 My travels with my Comic Art Masterclasses in the past week have taken me from Berwick On Tweed to Wakefield to County Kerry in Ireland. If ever the phrase 'distance no object' was well used, it was in describing my classes so far this month.

Stanley Library in Wakefield organised classes with pupils from the primary school next door, and the resulting comics were a treat, including as they did the first example of Rick-rolling on a front cover.

Tweedmouth Middle, who have had me in a number of times now, are about as far north as you can go without being in Scotland, in Berwick On Tweed, which was a hell of a drive home. But worth it, to come away with such marvellous comic creations.

My second visit to Ireland this year took me, for the first time, to County Kerry. I wish I'd had time to see more of the place, cos it's a picturesque part of the country. Though perhaps the area around Causeway school, near Ballyheigue, is not the most bustling. If you want to get away from it all, this would be where you go to. And by golly they know their history and politics, as evidenced by the two titles they came up with for their group comics. 

Killorglin is a slightly busier area which, if it hadn't been lashing down with rain, I'd have liked to see more of, before I had to head off back on my four hour drive across country to the airport. And didn't the second years come up with a couple of grand titles for their comics?

The celebrities these eight classes chose to star in my demonstration strip were: Elon Musk, Jenna Ortega, Kim Kardashian, Michael Jackson, Freddie Mercury, Ryan Reynolds, Michael Healy-Rae (their local TD), and Eoghan O'Brien (one of the pupils, the one that also featured in the title - I think some others in the class were hoping they were doing cyber-bullying there, but it ended up with young Eoghan being the star of the class).

My Books and where to get them:

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 

Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy 

Eurovision Colouring Vol 1 - Amazon -  Lulu  - Etsy 
Eurovision Colouring Vol 2 - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

Eurovision French edition - édition en français

Eurovision Spanish edition - Libro para colorear

Eurovision German edition - Popstar Malbuch

Eurovision Italian edition - il libro da colorare 

Eurovision Swedish edition - Popstjärna Målarbok

Eurovision Colouring Best Of British - Amazon

Doctor Who Colouring - Amazon - Lulu  - Etsy 
Punk Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

60s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 
70s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

80s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

80s Superstars - Amazon

90s Pop Star Colouring - Lulu - Etsy

2020s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

Bowie Colouring - Amazon

Scottish Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

Rom Com Colouring - Amazon

Royalty Colouring - Lulu

Christmas Movies Colouring - Amazon

NB: Etsy editions are signed and posted by me, and generally cheaper 

The Chicken Joke and other dribblings - my April Facebook posts

Here’s a first. 4 x @edfringe programmes sent to an eBay buyer just arrived looking like this.

Someone has nicked 2007, 08, 10 & 11 #edfringe progs and replaced them with…

A lump of wood!

Currently filling in @RoyalMail claim form

#1stworldproblems #2ndclasspost

*********

 I know I’m slow, but it was only yesterday, thanks to a Facebook thread, that I got the Chicken Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to The Other Side.

I never realised the other side meant heaven. I mean, I am familiar with the phrase, although I wouldn’t have been when I first heard the joke as a kid, but for some reason I always thought it was just a nonsense answer.

Did anyone else, possibly raised in a secular household like me, not get this gag? Or am I literally the slowest joke-getter on the planet?

It’s an American music hall gag, from at least the 1890s. Around then, two things were big and new: motor cars and spiritualism. "The other side". I tell you - Mind Blown!

I'd totally forgotten I'd based the character design for Cobweb in my Midsummer Night's Dream Team on Lily Savage.

What better tribute could you pay than buying it? Now!

(Or giving money to Battersea Dogs Home, obvs)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1470954753

********

Re: Article about art students' fears over AI taking their jobs

A very interesting take, from present day art students, on AI. Speaking as someone who graduated from art college 40 years ago this year, I can’t imagine how it would have affected my career decisions.

I studied fine art, five years before Damian Hirst and his mates became rich from exhibition art. We knew none of us would make a living from what we were studying (and I believe, on the whole, that has proved the case). I went into comic art and comedy, neither of which I had studied.

Other fellow graduates include a couple of professional photographers, and a number of us have had exhibitions of our work. But I’m not sure how many have the fine art they studied as their sole career.

I do know that the only one of our year to get a First in painting went on to work for the London Transport Police and didn’t paint a thing for 30 years.

Who else would have reconsidered what they studied, if they knew AI could do it?

That awkward moment when you start by going “ha ha they look so old now” then suddenly realise you’re older than all of them.

*******

April 25: Fun on eBay. Muriel Gray is now in a bidding war for a copy of Punch with her face on the front cover. I expect the other 8 issues in the batch to go in her recycling instead of mine.

*****

April 29: I appear on Jim Judge's Character Comedy podcast, as he explains:

In association with my friend and manager Jim Judges I can announce that episode 2 of "The Character of Comedy" podcast is now available - this is a bumper length edition featuring super talented and experienced comedian Kev Sutherland and The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre. From drawing for the Beano and Marvel to wowing the crowds at Edinburgh and beyond with the most famous socks in show business, this is a super listen and a perfect meander through Kev's vast experience as a comedian and comic artist.

Neal Adams 1972, Ron Smith 1979, me 1978.

A set of three Comic Swipes as posted by me, in the fanzine Fantasy Advertiser, back in 1985

*****

Re: The weekly Succession recap in The Guardian

As I find myself having to read these articles every week, to explain the bits I wasn’t following in last nights Succession (don’t read till you’ve seen the episode), I wonder if there used to be someone in Shakespeare’s London doing the same?

I genuinely need the same sort of explainer in order to follow Richard III and any of the history plays. Am I, perhaps, not a very smart person?

But seriously, on Succession again, who remembers what Vaulter was? (Supposedly a key insult in last night’s show). And who could name the big robot movie they’re making? Are some of you reading study notes between series?

Made up pot calls made up kettle “made up”.

*********

April 17: Re Grand National

Just a “1.21% fatality rate”? You get a lower fatality rate working on an Alec Baldwin movie.

What I don’t understand is why there are humane societies that insist, by law, in the credits of every movie and TV show that “no animals or insects were harmed in the making of this”, yet horse racing gets a pass.

It was a three horse race. Three dead horses*.

(*Across the weekend. And I can’t believe you even thought of defending that )

**********

April 30: Started this day 50 years ago: The Tomorrow People.

This was my favourite TV show at the time, displacing Doctor Who in my affections. I made a Jaunting Belt in metalwork (if you know, you know).

And look at that cast: 4 leads, one female, one black. Turns out TV was more diverse 50 years ago than it would be for most of the subsequent half a century.

A comic selling half a million copies? What is this? 1956? No, it's Japan, 2023.

Those are actual book sales! And one of the top ten (Blue Lock) is a football comic! Like Roy Of The Rovers! How did we, as it were, drop the ball so badly here in the UK?

*****

April 23: Re Death of Barry Humphries

Anyone with a character comedy act worried about not achieving instant fame can take consolation from Dame Edna. As this obit tells, she first appears in 1955, debuts in London at the Establishment in 1963, gets pretty dismissive reviews for show after show in London, despite being massive in Australia, not becoming a smash in the UK until 1977’s Housewife Superstar. Even then Broadway resists her charms for another twenty years!

There’s hope for all of us. (Says he, looking forward to international superstardom in his early nineties).

******

Recently someone on my Facebook brought up the old “I’m not paying my TV licence cos I don’t watch the BBC” line, which is promoted by the BBC’s cultural enemies including GB News, the Daily Mail, and Talk TV

So it’s always fun to check the rules and be reminded that the licence fee pays for all live, and recorded, TV. Which means if you want to watch GB News or Talk TV, you need a licence - they’re part of what you pay for.

PS: Also,amazingly, none of your licence fee goes directly to Jimmy Savile, despite what half the people in any comments thread on the subject seem to think.

My Books and where to get them:

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 

Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy 

Eurovision Colouring Vol 1 - Amazon -  Lulu  - Etsy 
Eurovision Colouring Vol 2 - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

Eurovision French edition - édition en français

Eurovision Spanish edition - Libro para colorear

Eurovision German edition - Popstar Malbuch

Eurovision Italian edition - il libro da colorare 

Eurovision Swedish edition - Popstjärna Målarbok

Eurovision Colouring Best Of British - Amazon

Doctor Who Colouring - Amazon - Lulu  - Etsy 
Punk Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

60s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 
70s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

80s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

80s Superstars - Amazon

90s Pop Star Colouring - Lulu - Etsy

2020s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

Bowie Colouring - Amazon

Scottish Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

Rom Com Colouring - Amazon

Royalty Colouring - Lulu

Christmas Movies Colouring - Amazon

NB: Etsy editions are signed and posted by me, and generally cheaper 

Tik Tok videos, a flurry thereof

 I've made sporadic use of TikTok since I discovered it a couple of years ago. 

Last year, when the Socks thought they were going to break big on Britain's Got Talent, we made a few special videos, which got no traction. Then over the Edinburgh period I made special live edits of the show. To date the most viewed Socks TikTok is the Iceland gag from Eurovision, which has a freakish 28,000 views. Then there's a drop to 2404 views for my version of Dean's song Ariel with Little Mermaid lyrics (from 2018 originally, uploaded in 2022), and most of the rest get less than 400 views.

My videos posted as myself have been similarly varied. For a long time my first Eurovision Colouring Book Tiktok was my most viewed, with 13,600 views. Then, back in November, my to-camera rant about The Power Of The Doctor rocketed to an unrivalled 93,400 views.

Most of my Colouring Book videos have been flip-through of the pages, which #BookTok enthusiasts on the group 20BooksTo50K insist gets them the best responses for selling their books. Well not me. With the exception of that first Eurovision flip-through, they get around 300 views and no more.

I returned with a to-camera piece a couple of weeks back, to plug the new editions of my graphic novels, which I'm describing as "All killer no filler" (they have the comic strip, but no Shakespeare play at the back. If you're interested they're Findlay Macbeth, Prince Of Denmark St, and Midsummer Night's Dream Team). This video saw an uptick in my viewings, currently standing at 2531.

Since then I've rattled off quick to-camera pieces for the toys I was flogging on eBay, which started getting a few hundred. Not much, but more than the book-flips. Then I did some unboxings, when some new colouring books were delivered, and look how those viewings shot up (chart below). 

Whether this turns into book sales, we shall see. Meanwhile, if I keep doing these on some kind of regular basis, maybe the algorithms will warm to me and start working in my favour. Time will tell.

Recent Tik Tok videos (from most recent down):

Unboxing Eurovision Colouring (actually a fake unboxing) - 442 views
Unboxing Royalty Colouring - 4389 

Unboxing 1990s Colouring (new cover) - 7153

Unboxing Xmas Movies Colouring - 3957

Action Man on eBay No2 - 282

Action Man on eBay No1 - 495

Batmobile on eBay - 715

James Bond car on eBay - 452

Chitty Bang Bang on eBay - 548

Flip-through Omnibus book - 319

To-camera "All Killer No Filler" books - 2531

Multi-language Eurovision flip - 529

1990s Colouring flip - 248

2020s Colouring flip - 298

Eurovision Vol 2 flip - 578

Sitcom Trials clip - 158 (a record low!)

Eurovision Vol 1 flip - 401

Signing comp slip - 361

Star Wars comics on eBay flip - 557

Punk colouring flip - 313

etc (after this it's low 300s for all vids till...)

Power Of The Doctor rant (Nov 22) - 93,400 views

So, we can conclude that talking to the camera attracts attention, while flipping-through the pages of a book simply doesn't. Lesson learned.

My Books and where to get them:

Findlay Macbeth - Amazon  - Etsy 
Prince Of Denmark Street - Amazon - Etsy 
Midsummer Nights Dream Team  - Amazon - Etsy 

Shakespeare Omnibus Collection (all 3 books) - Amazon

Tales From The Bible - Amazon -  Etsy 

Eurovision Colouring Vol 1 - Amazon -  Lulu  - Etsy 
Eurovision Colouring Vol 2 - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

Eurovision French edition - édition en français

Eurovision Spanish edition - Libro para colorear

Eurovision German edition - Popstar Malbuch

Eurovision Italian edition - il libro da colorare 

Eurovision Swedish edition - Popstjärna Målarbok

Eurovision Colouring Best Of British - Amazon

Doctor Who Colouring - Amazon - Lulu  - Etsy 
Punk Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

60s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 
70s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon  - Lulu  - Etsy 

80s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

80s Superstars - Amazon

90s Pop Star Colouring - Lulu - Etsy

2020s Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

Bowie Colouring - Amazon

Scottish Pop Star Colouring - Amazon

Rom Com Colouring - Amazon

Royalty Colouring - Lulu

Christmas Movies Colouring - Amazon

NB: Etsy editions are signed and posted by me, and generally cheaper