We've arrived and to prove it we're here

The Scottish Falsetto Socks, and Hev and I are now firmly esconsed in the bosom of Adelaide and by golly we're knackered. It's 11pm Adelaide time (half past lunchtime back home) and we've managed a not half bad first gig (though the audience was not quite big enough, a result of us not being around to get TV publicity the last couple of days or to appear in last night's launch event, and not being able to start flyering until this afternoon) at 7.45. I'm now back in the apartment watching a movie called The Great Race from 1965 (our choice of TV is not great). This movie was the inspiration for Wacky Races - who knew Dastardly & Muttley were based on Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk?

We started flying at 21.55 Wednesday, flew for 27 hours, crossed a dozen times zones and then doubled back on ourselves (London to Singapore to Sydney then back to Adelaide) and all I can keep thinking is how come The Doctor, or at least his companions, don't get jet jag all the time? Set off at midnight and arrive at midday, that's got to have some effect hasn't it?

I amaze myself in that I took not one but two books to read. My recent experience on buses and trains suggested to me I'd get a lot of reading done. I clearly forgot about the TV screen in the headrest, the supply of on-demand movies and the fact that these were two night-flights in a row, where the whole plane's lights go out and who wants to be the one keeping everyone awake with their personal seat light? So I saw a lot of movies and TV shows. Here, for the record, are the reviews I jotted down as we went:

Tinker Tailer Soldier Spy - 3/5. Could not quite figure out what was happening a lot of the time. Certainly didn't know why I should care. None of the characters had characters.

Parks & Recreation (TV) - 2/5. Features an actor from fave sitcom Party Down so came off worse in comparison. Seeing a random episode of a sitcom out of context is probably not fair.

Captain America - 4/5. Best film of the flights. Very good characters, lots of references only film buffs could get, witty, richly detailed, and satisfying. As good as Iron Man and Spider-Man, way better than Thor (which I thought very poorly written) or the Hulk (neither of which one should dwell on).

Puss In Boots - 4/5. Another very good comedy. Not quite up there with Shrek but full of good stuff well done.

Days Of Our Lives (Queen documentary) - 3/5. Learnt stuff I didn't know, saw clips I hadn't seen.

Cowboys & Aliens - 2/5. Very poor. No sympathetic characters, dreadful aliens with no raison d'etre or original design, and a story it was hard to keep gripped by. Took the worst cliches of both genres and added nothing to either.

Tintin - 2 and a half/5. Zero characterisation. The only indication that the central character is of the slightest interest to us is by showing newspaper cuttings of his previous adventures. Does he have a family? A life? Any motivations, concerns, dilemmas or secrets? No. He has ginger hair and a dog. The rest of the characters manage to have even fewer dimensions, and then some dramatic set-pieces take place, involve them all at various times. Not a drama, just a string of things that happen. And everyone looks like soulless dolls, but that's the least of its problems.

Johnny English - 1/5. I used to see James Bond parodies from the sixties and give them the benefit of the doubt because they were "so sixties". But chances are viewers at the time were watching them thinking "this is a bit rubbish". In 2012 - not only 50 years after James Bond but nearly 25 years after Austin Powers - this really doesn't pass muster.

Friends With Benefits (TV) - 2/5. Might not be a bad series if you got into it, but a random episode is all a bit meh. Features another actor from Party Down, making it all the more frustrating that they're not doing something that good now.

2 Broke Girls (TV pilot) - 1/5. In the spirit of The Sitcom Trials, I gave this a good ten minutes before turning it off in despair. If it gets a series, gawd elp us orl.

Lead Balloon (TV) - 4/5. It was reassuring to be reminded what good stuff can be done in half an hour of comedy where not a lot appears to happen. It was the episode with the funeral, the shoddy windmill and the upside down TV set. I do hope it won a Bafta.

Those were my movie reviews having been incarcerated in the slightly Room 101-ish situation of being in an aeroplane seat for 27 hours staring at a TV set (I read Private Eye and drew some sketches in my Moleskine, I'm not brain dead). Now I must concentrate on making people in Adelaide laugh and ensuring more of them come to the show, to which end it's time for bed (my body clock think it's 8am, and if there wasn't a beeter time to try and nod off, I can't then when there is).

G'night. Or should I say g'day.

Kev F & the Socks Adelaide