Hannover Hotel hilarity

Good morning my darling,

It's 7am here, 6am where you are. And amazingly I slept like a baby, but what a frantic night.

Everything was going perfectly with getting to Stansted, and the flight, and getting the train into Hannover (last time I'd taken a taxi which cost fifty quid, this time I'd mastered the train, which cost €3.50). And I used the maps on my phone to navigate the walk to the hotel.

Then I get up to the door of the Hotel Revery to find it's an unmanned door with a keypad and a set of boxes. It says to type in the code you were sent by email. Only I wasn't sent a code by email. I have, in my pocket, the hotel reservation printout, and that's got no code on it. There's no one there to answer any doorbell, it's 10.30 at night. And just as I start to look for this mysterious email on my phone, my battery dies.

I know, a bit much to expect a phone to stay charged for five whole hours! (It was fully charged when I got out of the car at Stansted at 5.15, and of course it was really only 9.30 at night in old money, 10.30 Hannover time). So my phone's a slab and I'm stuck in Hannover with no hotel!

I go into an Italian restaurant which is closing up, and I beg them to let me plug my phone in. They're really helpful. But with my phone charged up, I can't get a signal or any wifi, and looking through the emails, which luckily I can access, I see nothing about a keycode.

In desperation I go to the nearest hotel, which is a slightly upmarket Mercure, and I book a room, costing €123, and here I am. Very nice.

When I get settled in my room and finally get my email, I see my teacher has sent a last minute email at 10.30 at night, passing on the keycode. I've already explained it was a bit late.

So hopefully I'll get into my proper hotel en route to school, after I've had breakfast here.

So, our zoo?

K xxxxxxxx

The Tamagotchi Incident

This selling stuff on eBay malarkey has not been without incident. Mostly I put stuff up there, it sells or it doesn't, and I hear no more about it. Now that I've learned to describe the flaws in the comics in detail in the listings (some early comics had loose pages, writing on etc, which I hadn't spotted, so now I go scrupulously through every page in every comic in every job lot, and it seems to do the trick).

Then I put a Tamagotchi, which Hev had got as a present 20 years ago, on eBay. Its unique selling point being that it's unopened, so still has the tab over the battery. It's never even been switched on. Surely that makes it all the more valuable. Well, someone called "mmbopresto" thinks so, and pays £21 for it.

The Original Listing:

Tamagotchi  Tamaotch, aka Tamagotch's. Pink with cherry blossoms pattern. Sealed - BANDAI 1998 rare Bought In Japan. Unopened (except to take these photos), the battery strip hasn't been removed (as you can see in the photos). Small mark on back cover from where a label has been removed (visible in photos).Slight daylight discolouration of Tamagotchi device itself (very slight yellowing, visible in photos).Dispatched with Royal Mail 2nd Class.

Then a few few days later, this correspondence begins...

mmbopresto_0: Hi I finally managed to get the screws out of the back of this which were completely jammed in, doesn't work , keeps resetting. very disappointed

Why did you need to take the screws out of the back?

KFS

mmbopresto_0: because the battery were completely dead and it wasn't working

I'm sorry about that. It's a 20 year old unopened Tamagotchi, so I guess that was a possibility. 

I don't know what to say. Sorry again.

KFS

mmbopresto_0: I understand that but please don't sell something if you unless u know that it's working, I have 22 other tamagotchi all from the 90s and they all work, a refund would be greatly appreciated before i leave feedback. I know it's not really your fault but it's not mine either.

The tab was in the battery, that was a unique selling point. It was unopened and untampered with.

If it's been unscrewed it's no longer the item I sold.

KFS

mmbopresto_0 (102)

Ok . I will leave you bad feedback then

Please don't do that. I think we need to reach a settlement.

I sold the Tamagotchi as unopened, with tab in battery, and from 1998. So, with those details, there is no way the batteries could be tested. Would that be accurate?

KFS

PS: Forgive me if there's a delay in replying, I have an early start tomorrow so am turning in. Please don't leave negative feedback, I feel we can resolve this.

Hi,

Would you accept a partial refund, and you keep the opened Tamagotchi?

KFS

Dear scottishfalsetto, Ok - mmbopresto_0

Dear mmbopresto_0, £5 refund? You now have the Tamagotchi to resell. KFS

Dear scottishfalsetto, I cant sell a broken tamagotchi , dont bother with the refund , id rather just leave bad feedback - mmbopresto_0

How infuriating is this? He accepts a refund then goes back on his word. Then I go to eBay and find he's left the negative feedback anyway. He's had his partial refund, I'll look later to see if he's been good to his word and removed the feedback (my only negative feedback, might I add). Ooh, I'm seething.

Onwards and upwards.

Socks Roll Up First tryouts Leicester Feb 15 & 16

As the audience were leaving after the first of these two nights at Leicester Comedy Festival, I heard someone saying to a friend “so it was mostly Superheroes.”

Which was very true. Every year, in Leicester in February, I have the choice of trying out the brand new show which I’m developing to take to Edinburgh in August, or giving them the complete and polished show that we did in Edinburgh the previous year. Or a mixture of the two. This year we went for the mixture.

Last year (as you’ll see below*) we tried out an all new show, about half of which made it into the final finished product. This meant Leicester hadn’t seen most of the good stuff, so we gave them 40 minutes of Superheroes (editing out the Racist Brother material and All By Myself) and 20 minutes of new stuff. I say new, about 10 minutes of it was the Magic Routine which is a staple of our touring show and which is, so far, the only good bit of Roll Up.

The new material they got (in different orders on the two nights) was:

Roll Up gags inc Funambulism, Anabolic, Bare Knuckles, Paul Daniels, Yogi, Sufi, Gnostics, Kung Fu and Yurt. All good. So we have one minute in the bag.

Greatest Show opening (Sat only) - doesn’t work yet

Anne Hathaway song - gets laughs, better integrated in Saturday show

Statue Of Liberty routine - not funny yet

Tom Thumb routine (Fri only) - not funny

Les Mis routine - too long, only funny in small parts, doesn’t quite fit

Magic routine - excellent as always, but overshadowed other stuff

City Of Stars song - funny in parts, ends poorly

We then rounded off the show with the Superheroes finale, then a song. 

(Fri) Don’t Let’s Be Beastly To The Leavers - good, needs to lose a verse, does it fit in this show?

(Sat) Gary Barlow Brexit routine & song - very good, again does it fit?

So I’m in as good a position as I was in years like Shakespeare (16) and Space (13), which ended up being my favourite shows despite being almost entirely unwritten by the end of February. As I type this I am sat on the balcony of the Teatro cafe in Clevedon (yes, it’s that warm in February) seeing if I can get some bloody writing done today. One hour later I appear to have written this and nothing else yet. Onwards and upwards.

* Past years at Leicester have gone like this:

2018 - Mostly new Superheroes, with a bizarre amount of Christmas material in there. 

2017 - Shakespeare (2016), because there was no new show that year.

2016 - Mostly last year’s Minging Detectives, with 10 minutes of new Shakespeare 

2015 - Mostly last year’s And So Am I, with 20 minutes of new Minging Detectives

2014 - Socks In Space (2013). So we didn’t start writing that year’s And So Am I until later in the year.

2013 - Even by Glasgow in March we didn’t have a new show-full, so Socks In Space was a slow developer. So many dropped routines were being tried like The Melies Brothers, the 6 Million Dollar Man, and a Taylor Swift song I’d forgotten we ever did.

2012 - I have no record, but I imagine it was the Best Of show that we were about to take to Adelaide

2011 and earlier I have no record for, those shows’ gestation being lost to the mists of time.

Mar 20/21 - Dram Glasgow 

Mar 22 - Britannia Panopticon Glasgow

April 5 - Chorley Little Theatre 90 min (Superheroes)

April 6 - Rondo Bath 90 mins (Superheroes)

April 12 - Ropewalk Barton 90 min (Superheroes)

April 13 - Artrix Bromsgrove 90 min (Superheroes)

May 24 - Victoria Halifax Roll Up 

June 1 & 2 - Brighton Komedia
June 8 - Harlequin, Reigate

July 8 - OSO Barnes Fringe

July 19 - Kings Arms, Greater Manchester Fringe

July 20 - Bedford Fringe

July 30 - Aug 25 - Gilded Balloon, Edinburgh Fringe 9.30pm

Captain Britain, the big seller on eBay

More stuff sold on eBay, this batch being possibly the most lucrative and cost effective. Having learned not to put a Buy Now price on these items, I’ve already saved 50p a time. And as long as I’m happy to part with the tokens of my childhood, and I’m not feeling any pangs of loss yet, then it seems job lots of 10 to 20 comics at a time will make at least a fiver, and as much as twenty quid.

Captain Britain has been the biggest seller, these being originals rather than reprint comics (though the fact that people will pay for old British reprints is heartening, as I have many more boxes of those to plough through). No 8 was the biggie, who knew? 

I feel the need to keep a tally as I go along, to make some sense of whether this is a time wasting exercise or not. It feels great when money comes in, but I may be kidding myself that it’s not more bother than it’s worth. (Can I say, I’m finding it great fun dammit). 

SOLD since Feb 11th:

Captain Britain No 7 & 8.  £42.00

Captain Britain 24.  £29.10

Captain Britain No 1  £27.67

20 x Strip comic. £20.00

20 x Spider Man weekly  £16.51

17 x Spiderman weekly   £12.00

22 x Spider Man weekly. £10.50

Comic Rock magazine £10.00

Valiant Summer Special. £9.62

3 x Cor!! Summer specials. £9.60

Flexipop + 3 mags. £8.61

Big Numbers no 1.   £7.55

20 x Spider Man weekly. £7.50

16 x Rampage weekly (inc no 2). £7.50

4 x Mad mags Starsky. £6.51

10 x Planet Of The Apes. £6.50

3 x Capt Britain 16-18. £6.00

6 x Mad mags Rocky. £5.87

NME 1983 x 5.  £5.55

19 x NMEs £5.50 (expensive to post, slight loss)

4 x Cracked mag.  £5.50

12 x MWOM inc No 100. £5.50

3 x Capt Britain 36-39. £5.50

3 x Capt Britain  10-12. £5.50

3 x Capt Britain 13-15. £5.00

2 x Capt Britain 22,23. £4.20

8 x audio cassettes various.  £4.00

Dr Who Classic comics  £3.50

3 x Capt Britain 19-21. £3.20

8 x Speakeasy. £3.20

9 x Cor!! Comics. £3.20

4 x audio cassettes (Blondie +) £2.70

4 x audio cassettes (Kate Bush+). £2.50

10 Years with Maggie cassette. £2.50

Desperate Dan figure. £2.50

Starburst mag No 2. £2.50

Radio Times 1975. £2.50

Krazy Kat book.  £2.50

Marshal Law special. £2.50

5 x Marvel UK various. £2.50

4 x Mad mag Omen. £2.50

3 x Capt Britain 29-31  £2.50

3 x Capt Britain 33-35. £2.50

Captain Britain No 2.  £2.50

Dan Dare special. £2.50

Dr Who special C Baker. £2.50

Dr Who Special T Baker £2.50

TOTAL taken (excluding postage, and before eBay have taken their percentage) 

Feb 11 - 20: £342.59

So, again, equivalent to a day’s work. And has it taken a whole day? Quite possibly not. When it’s cost effective, it pays. However, there is time wasted with unsold items to take into consideration, sheet music being the current loss leader. I have a mountain of sheet music and hardly any takers yet. I think those will be going into bigger job lots shortly.

UPDATE: Captain Britain keeps selling. 

I said everything must go and everything Captain Britain related in my collection has now gone (subject to one buyer, who bought most of it, paying and his stuff going in the post).

Here’s the tally that closed between the 20th and 22nd of Feb (which I’m maybe totting up to make myself feel better about getting sod all work done. Next week the schools kick in, so there’ll be no more of this nonsense for a while).

Tamagotchi      £21.00

Spawn 1.      £20.00

8 x Hulk.       £14.08

Revolver 1 + Romance.  £13.00

2 x David Cassidy annual.  £10.00

9 x Rampage.    £9.01

Phantom Stranger 10.    £7.50

2 x harmonicas.   £7.00

Capt Britain 16-18  £6.00

Capt Britain 36 - 39.  £5.50

Songs of Robert Burns.  £5.50

5 x Conan.    £4.71

Binoculars     £4.70

Capt Britain 22 & 23. £4.20

Capt Britain 19-21. £3.20

6 x Sheet Music Carousel.  £2.50

Masonic music.    £2.50

Capt Britain 32-35.  £2.50

Capt Britain 29-31. £2.50

Capt Britain 2. £2.50

TOTAL.   £147.90

My items on eBay

Nachos, Tomatoes, Lemons & Chicken - first kids comics of the year

This is the slowest start to the Comic Art Masterclasses I've seen for many years (by end of Jan last year I'd done 7 days in schools, and in Feb published another 4 batches of kids comics here on the blog). Inevitably, thanks to the funeral and the house clearing, I've not done a heavy emailing of schools, which I think I usually do at the start of the year, so it's ended up spookily quiet. By the middle of February I've been to three schools. But what wonderful work they've created, these from Willersey Primary in Gloucestershire.

The culinary theme continues with these comics from St Josephs Primary in Swansea. The chicken nuggets I mean, not the other one.

And at Salisbury Arts Centre they've gone double edible, with nachos and a tomato. I have to say, with these cover designs, I'm just warming up for the year and haven't got into my stride. They are, to continue the theme, a bit vanilla.

The six celebrities these first groups of the year chose for my demonstration strip (only 10 months till I tot up the most popular celebrity of the year) were Daniel Radcliffe, James Charles (youtuber), Harry Kane, Meghan Markle, Justin Bieber, and (the trend starts here) Donald Trump.

Kev F Sutherland, as well as writing and drawing for The Beano, Marvel, Doctor Who et al, runs Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries and art centres - email for details, and follow him on Facebook and Twitter. View the promo video here. 

A satisfying lot of stuff on eBay

Though it's only a couple of days since I was professing frustration with the time I was wasting uploading stuff to eBay, I just put another mountain on there and this time I'm looking at a very satisfying pile to take to the post office. Here's what I just cleared out, mostly from the shelves of Private and my Windmill Gardens bedroom...

Buster annual 74, 75, 76                 £18.09

Valiant & TV21 x 18                        £12.25

White Christmas sheet music         £10.00

Time out mags 1983 x 4                 £10.00

Cor!! Comics x 13                           £9.50

Buster & Cor!! Comics x 31            £8.50

Frankie Stein Summer special 75   £5.55

Cor!! Annual 74, 75 Whoopee 76.   £5.03

Buster Holiday special 75               £4.20

Buster comics x 16                         £3.79

Donald & Mickey comics x 13        £3.50

Total for clearing a shelf                 £90.41 (excluding postage)   

(I love a good bidding war. This was for the Buster annuals)

You're right, I'd get more auctioning dogs, but as a satisfying weekend exercise that can be done in downtime, it's painless and fun. As for the stuff that's waiting to sell, including sheet music and cassette tapes, we won't be looking at such easy to shift success. And now back to some proper work.

BEWARE THE FEES!

The Fees! The Fees!

As a couple of months of listing stuff on eBay approach a hiatus (that is I start getting proper busy next week, so won’t have time for this nonsense) I’ve done some satisfying clearing out of shelves and boxes (though the storage unit is still stacked at least 5 boxes high by 6 boxes wide by 7 boxes deep at a guess, so that’s over 200 boxes still to empty. Probably).

I’ve taken just over a thousand quid in the last 60 days, with £112 and a bit amount of stuff up there waiting to sell. But beware the fees. 

I’m about to be billed £149 for fees on the last month’s stuff. I had sort of known about the fees, but sort of not. For example the 50p Buy It Now fee.

Who knew you paid the 50p Buy It Now fee, even if the item doesn’t sell? Well, I know now!

The “List It Free” offers that my screen is full of. I thought I was getting that on everything I listed. Yes, I know now!

It’s roughly 10%. So, things that sell for £2.50 (which is most things) cost me 25p. NMEs that went for a fiver cost me 55p. The clavinova is about to cost me £25.

Things that didn’t sell, but that I put a Buy It Now price on, cost me 50p. Ooh I’m an idiot.

I’m scrolling down all those Buy It Now listings for stuff that didn’t sell, kicking myself. No more Buy It Now!

Kev F Sutherland, as well as writing and drawing for The Beano, Marvel, Doctor Who et al, runs Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries & art centres. email for details. Facebook, Twitter. Promo video here. 

A Tales From The Crypt parody? Again?

How often have I done this parody? I lose count. So I had to come up with a cover for the Tales From The Bible comic, now that the plan is to collect all 95 pages of story into one book. And try as I might I couldn't do better than this doodle...

Which turned into this first draft rough...

Which, after my editor Rachel had pointed out the tentpeg looked like it was heading for somewhere far more emasculating than is in the actual story, turned into this coloured visual...

Which got the go ahead and became this piece of finished artwork, with a logo I'm quite pleased with though I say so myself...

I really hope we're going to be seeing this in shops this year, it would absolutely delight me. It's the work that I'm proudest of ever. And the cover was, of course, a spoof of this...

And, though I've not done the knife-throwing Jack Davis composition before, I've done enough EC and Tales Of The Crypt parodies, on school comics and elsewhere. Here's one I did for Gas, neither today nor yesterday...

Not an original bone in my head.

Kev F Sutherland, as well as writing and drawing for The Beano, Marvel, Doctor Who et al, runs Comic Art Masterclasses in schools, libraries & art centres. email for details. Facebook, Twitter. Promo video here.